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BLOG - ER Ramachandran

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Amorphophallus titanum- largest flower of the planet!

Amorphophallus titanum , also called as cadaverous flower has the peculiarity of blooming only three days once every 40 years, a privilege that Mother Nature bestowed on the town of Rio Blanco, Veracruz , Mexico.

Something unusual happened in this town in the high mountains in the centre zone of the State of Veracruz with the apparition of the plant listed as the largest flower of the planet.

The plant is two meters high and weighs 75 kilos!

This is a forward from my friend. if anybody has more information, please share with MBP readers.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Terror Noose Channel!

Take it Easy!

With dedicated channels already for Sports, Music, Food etc., it won’t be surprising if a dedicated News Channel for Terror comes on the airways soon. A peek at the sample News

This is the Terror Channel Hq , Here’s the Zero Hour Noose:

First the bullets:

• Government presents its 5-year Terror Policy
• R& D for Terror will be strengthened.
• Experts lend a hand in Training
• Terror Tourism takes shape
• World’s best Terror Exporter
• Weather

The Noose in detail:

The Minister for Terror Affairs XXX dressed in bullet-proof jacket presented Government’s 5-year Terror Policy from his Z++ Bunker to the Parliamentarians. ‘Too many people are claiming responsibility whenever an attack takes place. Nobody really knows who is behind a particular strike’ the Minister added. The new comprehensive policy plans to bring Taliban, LeT , Harkat-ul-Mujahidin, Jaish-e- Mohammed, Jamaat ud Dawah and some Government Agencies, under a New Terror Umbrella. The Minister was confident that United States which has been approached would as usual finance the whole project after their Senate passes it unanimously.

Addressing the oft- repeated criticism that ‘three to four terror incidents in a week is peanuts’, the Minister promised a new policy of ‘ hit a day’ with immediate effect. There will be an improvement both in quality and quantity, he assured the members. However, to achieve this, he warned, they may have to approach the EU and World Bank for additional finance.


Government will not lag behind in coming out with new weapons, said a spokesperson. Speaking on conditions of anonymity she said guns, grenades, ammos, AK47s and 57s, petrol bombs are easily sniffed by sniffer dogs. Car bombs fail to start at crucial times. If we do not find immediate steps to overcome such problems, dog days await us. This should be taken as a new challenge at our R& D Centers, she warned.


With so many attacks going on everyday, our country is ideal for promoting Terror Tourism which will help us to earn foreign Exchange. It is planned to call the ace Bollywood Producer- Director from India who took his Chief Minister once for terror tourism will be invited here to for the inaugural. Practically all our major cities are excellent Terror Tourism Centres. Some of the places already identified are our major hotels, Army Hq., Bus Depots, Army silos, Hospitals, cricket stadia, schools etc. These will be preserved as heritage places. Soon a Director for Terror Tourism will be appointed to promote Tourism.


Terror channel is happy to report ace terror specialists will come to our studio and give training in preparing bombs, triggering attacks using mobile phones, how to throw grenades from a moving bus etc. Specialists who are unfairly arrested due to international pressure will directly come from judicial custody to our studio and train youngsters who are keen to enter this profession. If our studio gets blown during hands-on training, we will temporarily operate from a ripped school or damaged Army Hq.


We continue to be regarded as the Best Terror Exporter and we just have no competition! The only that can set us back is complacency. Recognizing this, the President has set up a committee to explore new countries where we can scout and start exporting our products on a regular basis.


The weather has been a spoilsport last 3 months. Our R& D has planned to make water-proof bombs, grenades and matchboxes so essential for our line of activity. The raincoats too need pouches which are waterproof so that the goodies work even when they are wet and spongy.

It has been either raining or snowing in most countries which is a huge dampener for most activities including ours. We hope sun will show up soon so that we can liven up a bit and do some action at Airports, Hotels or at least our own Army dump yard.

That’s the end of the Zero hour Noose.

ERR ……….

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

What Do They Really Want?!

Take It Easy.

The political imbroglio involving Yeddy Single and Reddy Triples which looked a mathematical indeterminate just a few hours back seems to be near a solution, after all.

This is not because, the Central BJP exercised their power and stood up tall to quell the rebellion, not because the Chief Minister stooped lower and lower to accommodate the wishes of the Miner Brothers, but the acceptance of all necessary and sufficient conditions imposed by the Brothers.

We know only some 6 conditions which are discussed in the open but the N & S conditions were found in a chit near the resort in Hyderabad. A BJP Observer hovering around hotels near Hyderabad found a chit, size of gutka paper which just about gave the point by point items agreed to between the Chief Minister ( also referred to as ‘Kamsa’) and Janardhana Reddy ( Alias ‘Krishna).

The Brothers felt, the conditions, will usher in Rama Rajya again and the ‘new golden’ period will be better than the one during Krishna Devaraya.

The conditions as mentioned in the soiled chit now agreed, approved and soon –to –be- promulgated are as under:

1. Bellary will be the new IT capitol (Information Technology) of Karnataka. All the major IT offices will immediately move their offices to Bellary. The entire cost of new offices, shifting etc will be met by the Triumvirate.
2. Consequently the IT Department (Income tax) will be shifted out of Bellary preferably out of Karnataka.
3. President Obama should be instructed to use phrase such as ‘Bellaried’ rather than ‘Bangalored’.
4. Vidhana doudha will be shifted to Bellary Stone- by- stone. The entire Cost will be borne by the trio.
5. Dasara will be shifted to Bellary from Mysore. The elephants will be airlifted from Nagarahole direct to the site. Jambosavari and Torchlight Parade will be celebrated in a new stadium with a capacity of 1, 00,000 construction of which will start next week.
6. Each of the MLA in Karnataka should have his / her own Helicopter. Given the pathetic state of roads that have been reduced to in the last 60 years, it is better MLAs hop around in Helicopters than travel by road to speedily attend to flood / drought relief work.
7. The MLAs need not depend on their salary from State exchequer. They can keep the same as pocket money. Arrangements have already been made to have their new salary, of undisclosed amount, to them in person.
8. The Metro work underway in Bangalore should be suspended and shifted to Bellary.
9. Bellary will have an international Reddy Airport like the Kennedy Airport. It will be funded privately.
10. Bellary will be the new capitol of Karnataka.

Bellary Brothers also had few conditions for the Central Leadership too.

1. Sushma Swaraj whom they hold in high esteem like their mother, should immediately take over as BJP President. She will be referred to as ‘Ma Swaraj’ by one and all.
2. Advaniji who is like Bhishma Pithamaha will advise Ma Swaraj about affairs of State, if and when asked.
3. Advaniji will be provided with a Hummer, converted into a chariot so that he can often go on his Bharath Rath Yathra.
4. Rajnath singhji, the new Vidura will either accompany Advaniji if required or stay put in Delhi.
5. Arun Jaitley, the new Dronacharya will be made the new BCCI and IPL Chief so that he doesn’t have to bother about Karnataka anymore.