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BLOG - ER Ramachandran

Friday, March 26, 2010

Future Tense!

I look forward for my morning coffee from previous night itself. A good filtered coffee with right amount of decoction, milk and sugar is god’s gift to Mankind. At least that’s my incentive to wake up in the morning.

Ajji, as usual, gave me coffee in the morning. It tasted different. In fact it tasted like Hemlock mixed with ‘Bru’te coffee.

‘Ajji! You want to me kill me or what? Why is it so dark and bitter?’

‘This is what you will get from now on; better get used to it. Don’t think you are the Lord in this house. Those days are over. Paathu and Sathu are also human beings. They also drink coffee. I can’t pour all the milk in to your coffee’.

Ajji was in no-nonsense mood. Like Yusuf Pathan.

For the uninitiated, Paathu and Saathu are my sisters – named after Goddesses, Parvathi and Savithri. Don’t you or MFH ever make evil designs on them! These two are tigresses in human skin and can skin anybody alive just with their teeth.

So, the Women’s Reservation Bill, barely 48 hours after getting passed in Rajya Sabha is having its effect already.

I switched on the TV only to see Madam Sonia Gandhi hogging the limelight non-stop. Poor Manmohan doesn’t figure anywhere!

How times can change in a click of a button in Delhi!

Sonia Gandhi sharing few words in Hindi like how men congratulated her saying ‘Bhadhai ho’ has become something of signature screen saver for NDTV. Apple-polishing or plain 24 X 7 ‘Benne Hacchodu’ at its best.

As I went out I had a mild head-ache and stopped by at Indore Medicals for a Crocin. Couple of women were there selecting henna and hair oil. Normally, Bharath would greet me with a smile but now just said ‘Ondu Nimisha’ and was turning his shop upside down searching for aloe -based henna. By the time he had finished, he looked as if he needed an oil bath himself. Another girl came there to exchange the shampoo she had just taken for an exotic one. She wanted one that gives exquisite bounce after washing hair with crushed orange peel beaten with cinnamon and buttermilk pastry.

By now my splitting headache was turning towards hemorrhage; Bharath looked as if he could use couple of crocin himself.

After changing her shampoo with conditioners to one without conditioners but curlers, he sheepishly asked me what I wanted!

While he revived my ebbing life with Crocin and water, he explained, between sips of glucose, he had plans to expand his business with ladies Toiletries, imported perfumes etc. He was going to remove men’s shaving cartridges, blades; after-shave lotions etc and advertise ladies products in that space.

With more and more men going for beard and two-day stubbled look, no wonder Bharath wanted to switch over to Ladies products.

In the evening I came back to watch Germany play England semifinal of World cup hockey. The channel was already hijacked. ‘Woman of Substance’ Award ceremony was going on with all the ladies of the house watching with Ajji sitting in the centre.

Normally Ajji can’t keep herself awake after 8.30 as she gets up before 4.30 in the morning.

‘Ajji! Why are you awake still? Are you alright? Shivarathri is over. Why haven’t you hit the bed yet?’

She asked me to keep quiet by signs showing ‘keep your mouth shut’ followed by a ‘Hush! Hush!’ as she watched Shabana Azmi, Sushmitha Roy. Pathu and Saathu enjoyed Ajji’s acting more than the progrmme! They were happy Ajji had silenced me once.

Next day when I occupied my usual seat in the bus on the way to office, the conductor requested me and my neighbor to get up and vacate our seats for the ladies. We protested as we were sitting in the general seats, but the conductor nonetheless asked the ladies to take our seats.

Later the conductor whispered to me, ‘I could not paint these seats ‘Ladies’ as it was late last night. Better give up these seats willingly. If you create problem they will get the bus converted into “Ladies’ special”. You will have to leg it to your office to and fro, daily’.

That was the best piece of advice to meet the challenges of future!

Now I am ready to drink even kalagacchu everyday.
…………….
ERR

3 Comments:

  • Sounds good to me - looking forward to the day when things are actually like this!!!
    And you made me miss my mother's filter coffee....
    Funny post!

    By Anonymous Kamini, at 5:07 AM  

  • I really enjoyed reading this. And it won't be too bad a thing if indeed we women had a bigger say in our own homes

    By Blogger RAJI MUTHUKRISHNAN, at 5:21 PM  

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