BLOG - ER Ramachandran

Weekly Warbler

2011-06-23T05:04:00.000-07:00

Anna Hazare : Hot and cold blasts! Sizzles between Anshan in Jantar
Mantar and pleas to Sonia Gandhi.

Amitabh Bachhan : Says Melody has gone from Hindi film music. True;
That is from the day he sang Rang Barse..!

BJP : On mission ‘Mass suicide’ a la Jonestown 1978

Boxing, Yeddy vs. HDK: Even Gods will run to save themselves from the
Karnataka Jokers!

Digvijay Singh: Foot, always –in –mouth Syndrome!

Lata & Sachin: No retirement plans! Only Belt out more runs, songs…..

Lalit Modi: Cricket fireworks from Exile!

Mayawathi: on ‘one Rape a day’ spree in UP……..

Rahul Gandhi: Like Hamlet - ‘To take the hot seat’ or ‘not’; Let
P.M. warm the seat for some more time…

Sonia Gandhi: Double checked locks are ok in Zug, Switzerland!

***
Daily Corruption capsule: Tihar Jail to open Corruption Wing Ward!

Movie of the week:
For Yeddyurappa and HDK: ‘Hum Sab Chhor Hain’.

Song of the week:
For Birthday Boy Rahul Gandhi: ‘Mera Number kab Ayega?’

……….
Till next Week

ERR

GVK -' Bye Mysore... Hello.. Chennai...!

2011-03-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

G.V. Krishnan moved to Mysore from Coonoor as per his own words, ' to explore something new in the quaint little Royal town-city' of Mysore.

And explore, he did.

He had worked in Times of India as their correspondent in a number of offices from Gwalior, rubbing shoulders with the late Arjun Singh and was regarded as one of his 'men', to London where a visit to Veeraswamy for Masala Dosa was one of the pleasures in the posting after mandatory visits to Hyde Park.

GVK , affectionately so called by friends and strangers alike, soon settled down in Mysore and quickly found Mysore was too laid-back for his liking.

Five years back the Internet was taking roots, Blogging had just started and Facebook and Tweeting had not made their appearance.

GVK started the Blog' Mera Mysore Mahaan' which later morphed into' Mysore Blog Park' with bloggers from all over the world expressing their views on' masala dose at Vidyarthi Bhavan' to' aviation mechanics' to' 'Temples of Tamil Nadu'. It became a hit and is still a meeting point of many a blogger.

But contentment has never made its presence in GVK's genes. 'Why are there so few trees in Mysore?' Why not involve the youngsters to do something to plant saplings?' were the refrain going on in his head; so was born the ‘Friends of Roadside Trees' (FORT) blog. Tree enthusiasts share their common interest in saplings and how to coax the Municipality and corporators to do something in their wards.

As expected with GVK, he further branched into actual planting of saplings with Mr. Gurkar who had made his ambition in life to plant as many saplings in road corners as possible. Then, ideas such as 'why not Present' saplings for birthdays, or ‘while joining a school?' or ‘give the gift of a sapling to the newlyweds'?, came up..

Then came a blog for 'Giving it a shot’ in which people wrote about one idea which can make a difference to the community. In 'Giving it a shot', we had proposed an idea to make children wash their hands with soap every time before having food which can bring the sickness in children dramatically down. Subsequently it became a rage.

The students of Anantgeetha' school was also exposed to the idea of tree planting as was' gap planting ‘which was done in front of Mysore mail itself.

The shelfari collections of Books came on the scene in between...

For most people this should have been enough to rest and spend their time feetup with their grandchildren ...but our friend is made of different stuff altogether…Glaxo should do well to do a study of his energy levels.

Soon, it was 'Mysore Santhey' - a unique concept of mixing with young and old on sunday mornings and sharing their experiences on anything.. These were 'harate' sessions which helped strangers to walk in and introduce themselves and participate in the discussion or initiate topics on their own...

With Facebbok coming in a big way, GVK , who has a separate vein for technology flow , took it up like fish to water.. rather a jockey to Ascot.... he scanned all news, TED, NYT and scooped out nuggets.. Then it was tweeting.. In between Mysore Banyans was launched which was put in Facebook.. Long lost Pollachi clan was hunted down..

Early mornings were reserved for walk around JLB road, University Campus and these GVK'S haunts were put in the' My Mysore' photo blog...

The posts in ‘Mysore Blog Park’ were also edited and put in Mysore Mail' as ' Bloggers' corner.’

'The Mysore Photowalk' is a stunning success with youngsters scouting different locations for taking photographs once every fortnight.

In between GVK and his wife would visit their grandchildren in California at least twice a year.. It was while going to the airport to Bangalore they survived a near- miraculous escape from a bloody road accident with a huge tanker.

Now GVK is packing off and is heading to Chennai.

Knowing him, I am pretty sure he is not the type to' take it easy' or 'slow down'.... far from it..He hasn’t heard of these words… With a frown he will survey what needs to be done in Chennai and will be at it from next morning at 5.30 sharp along with his wife.

That's GVK for you.

It was ‘Namaskara’, when he came to Mysore.

Now we say, 'Dhanyavaada' and 'Nanri' as he goes to Chennai for what all he did here in Mysore.

GVK, ‘Vanakkam’....., 'Paarkalaam' in Chennai!

................

E.R. Ramachandran March 21, 2011

(In the picture GVK is with Kiran Ravikumar with the idea of ‘Mysore photowalk’ just brewing in Manuvana Park opposite the Law Courts…..)

A Tale of Two Letters!

2010-12-24T08:19:00.000-08:00

To,

David Cameron
Prime Minister of England
10 Downing Street
London

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Thank you for your recent visit. Among other things, I liked your views on Indian cricket and how much Sachin Tendulkar has contributed to World cricket.

Whenever I am free, I think of Sachin’s stats which is even more mind- boggling than India clocking 9% growth rate year after year.

This is the season for communication all over the world. While the Wikileaks are making the diplomats look like world’s first ‘double-agents’ , in India we have the so called ‘Radia tapes’ in which Businessmen, Corporate PROs, print and electronic journalists along with local political parties were freely selecting candidates for my cabinet!

Looking at the seemingly insurmountable problems India faced after independence I had heard that our first Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru wanted Lord Mountbatten to take India back to its fold.. I don’t know how far it is true.. but I can very well imagine as I am going through a similar phase myself.

I am surrounded by too many scams day and night.. There are no solutions in sight; even our parliament didn’t function this winter session..

To put it bluntly can Britain consider taking back India..? Don’t be surprised or shocked.. I have thought this over like any economics problem and I can vouch it for you it will work. It will be a ‘win-win’ situation for both India and UK.

Let me put down the likely scenario.

1. Kashmir Problem can be solved straightaway.. you started it and now you can do whatever you want to do with it.

2. You will have the economy growing at 9% as against a measly 2.8 %.Gin and tonic will become affordable again.

3. We also have a Sitting Royalty complete with a full complement of a family. So succession won’t be a problem.

4. No doubt your cricket team is doing well against Australia…. But with Sachin in your team imagine where he can take your team….

5. We have experts who can arrange ‘Queen’s baton programme’ at a moment’s notice even though it will cost your Exchequer lot of money.

6. Vedanta can come back and stay permanently in India. Vedanta will be the ‘New East India Company’ for re-entry of Britain to India! I will ask Jayaram Ramesh to leave Vedanta alone and concentrate on the stinking Cooum River in Chennai, which like the DMK Party needs thorough cleansing.

7. When you entered India, different kingdoms in the country like Mysore, Rajasthan, Hyderabad, Kashmir etc were ruled by Maharajas. We have replaced them with new Maharajas whom we call as Governors. The Governors, who are merely Agents of the Government at Centre are more costly to keep but can be sacked at a moment’s notice.

8. We don’t have somebody like Prince Philip making comments that puts you all in awkward situations. However, I have a senior colleague in my party.. Digvijay Singh who is as good as Prince Philip, if not better.

9. I know in your country people are questioning the facilities given to the Royalty and would like to take it back.. They even broke the glass of the car they were traveling last week over tuition fees raise. You will find it refreshingly better here.. people give the Royalty whether they ask or not.. Even cases of their relatives are dropped because of the deep love and affection people have for them.

10. Finally , your queen and her family may want a little bit of sunshine as you have had an extremely terrible winter… Our Royalty can go over to England which will also take them closer home to Italy.

Hope to receive your reply at the earliest after which we can initiate the process.

Yours friendly economist,

Manmohan Singh

Prime Minister of India

***

Dear Manmohan Singhji,

I had learnt to add Ji to Indian names last time when I came there. I didn’t know it would bounce into such a major scam by adding one more G.

When your letter came I had gone to No 9 and 11 Downing Street to enquire whether the place was available for rent. I am not sure how long I will last here at No. 10.

I was about to send you a letter asking whether India could take over Britain with all its problems as well as our Royalty. We both seem to be having similar problems.

We both need some solutions. Quickly.

Now in the changed circumstances, I reckon both of us need new jobs.

The only one I can think of is: I understand the contract of your cricket coach Garry Kirsten from South Africa is soon getting over..

Since I have played cricket at Oxford and I am a fan of Indian team, if you can influence your colleague Sharad Pawar and get me the job as Indian cricket coach, I would be most grateful. To get this job, do I have to contact any PRO? Let me know.

I can put in a word to the chancellor of London school of Economics, Her Majesty and arrange your appointment as Director of LSE. You don’t need any PRO. My word will do.

This, I believe, is the best solution for both of us.

Cheers,

David Cameron

……

.

Yeh hai Bambai meri jaan...

2010-08-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

Mumbai , Bombay, Bambai all mean the same. The city’s name might have changed to Mumbai but if you hail a cabbie in Masjid, he is likely to explain his refusal with ‘Nai. Main Bambai jaa rahaa hun!….’ V.T. or C.S.T. is still Bambai for him.

The city is an experience. To be experienced but cannot be explained. With multi cultures, multi languages, multi cuisines all nurturing few million hopes, the city is really an Eldora Do for immigrants far and wide.

How does one understand the city? You will never really understand it. It will surprise you each time you try to paraphrase it; you cut it open to decipher it; it will open into something else.

How does one travel in Mumbai? In as many ways as possible - right from walking miles at a stretch along the train lines as people do amidst gallons of pouring Monsoon rains to get to their place of work; to zip across the city in double fast local trains hanging on to the overhead strap on one hand and two more necks on the other; to take a somewhat comfortable journey if you get a seat in the BEST bus otherwise stand for long time with some heavy shoes crushing your big toe; drive your own car cursing the traffic and sweating by buckets; to sit in the back of an air-conditioned Mercedes twiddling your thumbs surrounded by crawling traffic for miles going at a speed less than a determined overzealous paunchy morning walker. But all of them WILL reach their destination - office, factory, school, market or whatever, do their work and get back more or less the same way! This happens throughout the year come rain or shine. Rain will be in sheets of water and shine will come with buckets of sweat.

It was once jocularly said that what you can get done in a day in Mumbai , a fortnight in Delhi and may never get done in Calcutta (Now Kolkatha) as so many doubts will be raised about the outcome , the Bongs will thrash it with heaps of discussion and pass a unanimous resolution that the task should not be attempted in ‘ the best interests of one and all’!

How does one attempt to get to know Mumbai? The contrasts alone will need a document to just even fill, leave alone understanding it.

Sample this:

No city has made such elaborate arrangements for homeless to study at night. There are well-lit parks with toilets and 24 hour water supply to drink where you can study, sleep, wakeup, wash go across the park for kadak chai and resume studies. The number of street children who have studied and made to top positions, started their own companies is legion. Most of them come back to the place for thanks-giving and create more facilities for new hopefuls.

Considering the city’s diversity right from dress to religion, culture to food and what have you, it is presumptuous to assume there can be any unity at all. It is here Mumbai has surprised the rest of India always! In smaller towns, even where a single religion reigns, people divide themselves in to subsects like insect colonies to slug it out and pull each other down a la frog- in- a- well. In Mumbai this is unheard of as most of them have no time for these little politics and games, as life is one fast to-and -fro journey each day. You get to hear ‘Marnekeliye vakth nahin’ or ‘Shwas lene ke liye pursath nahin hain’at least three or four times a day and it is indeed true. You are for ever traveling, meeting some one and running off some where, basically trying to survive so much so there is hardly time for small time khit-phits.

People criss-cross the city after office hours traveling miles to meet at a dingy space to practice for a play for which availability of stage is still uncertain. Some people on their weekly day off get up at the crack of dawn and travel to other end of the city so they can teach slum children. Old rich Parsi ladies will stay late night and brave the December chill to distribute blankets to people sleeping on the footpaths during shivering winter.

It’s another matter, film stars and high society kids mow down homeless, sleeping on footpath on their swanky cars with their brashness fortified by few pegs and ‘I-know-the Police-Commissioner’ attitude. Or a girl is raped in train in filmy style. Or a person is murdered during daytime in the middle of a road by bhai log in front of non-caring crowd. The city is a bundle of paradox.

Privacy is guarded zealously and there is an unwritten signboard which says ‘don’t disturb me, please’ on most mumbaikars’ faces. ‘Neighbour’s business is none of my business’ is practiced so religiously; neighbours living in a flat for not having met each other is not uncommon .Most people prefer it that way. You have parks where apart from regular stone benches for a group or family, you have single seat for a loner! Loners are a major component of this crowded cosmopolitan city.

But strangers will walk you to safety when you are caught in a neck-deep monsoon rains lashing the city for days at a stretch. The poorest of the poor and the friendly pickpocket will look feed chai and biskut to an industrialist when his Mercedes breaks down in the middle of a night as water enters the carburetor.In New Orleans they left a busload of senior citizens to starve and die, but this will never happen in Mumbai.

How is it for foodies in the city? Idly and Dosa were basically south Indian breakfast, not anymore. For quite a few morning walkers, especially Gujarathis, a visit to Anand Bhavan in Matunga is a must for delicacies like Masala Dosa, Medu Vada and Idly with filter coffee after their fast walk in Five Gardens in Matunga. The rush at Mama Kane by Non-Maharashtrians is seen to be believed for their various types of Pohas and sabudana vadas for breakfast. In the evenings as commuters walk their way to Churchgate or CST to catch a local train, it is the Maharashtrian dish Vada Paav. South Indians take cookery classes to learn how to make Gujarathi dishes like Khandvi, Khamand Dhokla.

If cricket is a religion in the country today, the ABC of lessons in religion sprang from Shivaji Park, Cross maidan and the various Gymkhanas along the Marine Drive. So are Hindi films and particularly Hindi songs of an earlier era which brought India together, after imposition of Hindi by a senseless Government failed and had threatened to divide the country.

As you peel layers of Mumbai you will see little Gujarath, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, Punjabs etc doing their own thing in various layouts of the city. But they are all Mumbaikars due to what the city has done for them.

What drives a Mumbaikar day in day out, roughing out the long haul in crowded trains and going through the grind with his uncomplaining attitude for years? How do the dabbawallas manage to feed half the city carrying a home- cooked food in a Tiffin carrier using a distribution system that has confounded the management Gurus so much so they have started similar system in Boston?

When does a citizen turn in to a shock absorber and carry on as if nothing has happened and carries on her duty without a care or fear that she could be the next victim of a bomb in a train, market, near a bus stop and travel through the very same places she has seen a bomb blowing up her friends or relatives or fellow travelers?

This enduring spirit, this ability to look in to the eye of a disaster and muster enough courage to go on with life is what differentiates a mumbaikar from others.

It is this spirit which will defeat every design of a terrorist no matter how many attempts he makes. The same spirit will once again defeat the Raj Thackeray ‘Thamasha’ as it did once to defeat Bala Saheb’s cry to divide the city.

Sure Bombay like a mega city has mega ills – the filth, the underworld, the unmanageable population. But these are the results of city fathers who failed to foresee and plan for city’s growth. The same is now happening to Bangalore too. But the spirit of Mumbaikar to get on with the job ‘come what may’ is typical and usually rubs on any newcomer to the city quickly.

That is why Mohammed Rafi and Johnny Walker sang ‘Yeh hai Bambai meri Jaan’ , O.P. Nayyar's tune in CID, a picture directed by Guru Dutt even as early as Fifties for Dev Anand. Even today the same spirit reverberates in the city.

……………..
ERR

Bethal on Bhopal...

2010-07-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

As Raja Thrivikram carried the BethaL on his back and walked, the ghost - BethaL started talking..

‘I admire your intention and efforts to give me salvation. Let me narrate you a story.. I have some questions for you at the end.. Of course if you refuse to answer or give wrong answers your head will break into pieces. You are no doubt aware of that.’

The king nodded his head as BethaL started off.

‘ Long long ago, not very long ago, twenty six years to be exact, there was a major accident in Bhopal in which poisonous gas emanating from the plant killed around 20,000 people and ever since more than lakh of people have been affected one way or other..children born with deformities, respiratory problems and what not..’

Thrivikram look surprised.

‘Don’t look at me like that.. Raja.. I am a BethaL alright but I do keep track of the past, present and future too...’

‘Well, as I was saying… Despite such massive deaths the Government of the day didn’t do much. In fact the chairman of the company from USA, Warren Anderson flew into India visited the site and before you could say ‘Bhopal Gas Tragedy’, got into a plane and had flown back washing his dirty hands off…

Raja Trivikram shifted the Bethal to his left shoulder..

‘Anderson was arrested, released on bail and was flown out of Bhopal and Delhi by the State and Central Government officials. As per rules the passport of a person who is let out on bail should have been impounded… this happens for petty offenses not when it involves death of thousands! Strange are the ways how justice operates amongst you human beings! ’

‘I hope you are listening to what I am saying..’ said Bethal as he continued, ‘ Whether the then Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi or the Chief Minister Arjun Singh took the decision is not known..

In 1985 Union Carbide agreed to pay compensation package of $470 mln to the Bhopal Gas Victims as an out of court settlement which was a meager amount compared to the magnitude of damage to the victims.

Thrivikram wondered whether BethaL was a lawyer in his earlier life.

‘Meanwhile based on Justice Ahmadi’s decision to convert the case from ‘culpable homicide to’ criminal negligence’, the courts gave a 2 year punishment to 7 of the accused, which was easily bailable with Rs. 25000 each. Justice in your human system is indeed unique..’

‘Listen to me carefully, Thrivikram.. soon my questions will come..’

Raja nodded his head.

‘Good. Following the judgment after 26 years of the tragedy, there was an outcry all over the world with regard to pathetic ‘speed’ of Indian courts, quantum of punishment and the question of who let out the prime suspect Anderson out of the country..

In order to partly divert the public and media outcry the Government immediately sanctioned Rs. 10 lakhs to the family of the victim, decided to cleanup the factory at Government’s expense, and ask for extradition of Warren Anderson..

Are you with me so far..? Ok. Now my questions…

# Who gave the permission to fly out Anderson?
# Can Government now get back the amount for the cleanup from Dow Chemicals?
# Can Anderson be extradited from US…?

Your answer h’d better be correct otherwise your head turn into smithereens..’

‘I will answer your first question, last.’ Started Raja Thrivikram:

‘Law Minister Veerappa Moily is pulling a fast one like Veerappan in his hay days when he says ‘the Government will extradite Warren Anderson.’ If he was allowed to fly away when on bail, how can he be extradited now? Has there been a fresh evidence to warrant that? It is pure and simple eyewash.

Since already $470 mln was paid as per agreement and nobody talked of ‘cleanup’ operation then, how can anybody talk of cleanup now? Dow Chemicals or US Government will not pay a cent towards that. It will come from you and me – I think almost anybody these days has turned in to a bethaLa with the price of petrol, diesel, cooking gas and commodities hitting the roof. It will come from our pockets. We will have to bear that.

Finally answer to your question.. ‘Who let Anderson go’? - Who else in this country can take a decision on such matters when a Gandhi is Prime Minister? That too Rajiv Gandhi? Of course. It was his decision.

The Government had to do all that what it did after the recent judgment. Otherwise it would be difficult for another Gandhi to become Prime Minister ever. That is why even Ottavio Quatrocchi was not brought into the country to face a trial..’

The moment Raja Thrivikram finished an astonished BethaL flew off his back to the top of the tree.

………….
ERR

Accident Prevention Acts!

2010-04-20T22:14:00.000-07:00

Recently I read something regarding Karnataka State Road Transport Corporation (KSRTC), which caught my attention.

It highlighted the efforts of its Tumkur Division to reduce accidents in its jurisdiction.

Since there are deaths by the dozens everyday, I was keen to learn how Tumkur’s KSRTC tackled the problem. I decided to meet the PRO of KSRTC at their double-road office in Shanthinagar in Bangalore.

The PRO welcomed me with Akshathe and Thambittu Prasada.

‘I understand your Tumkur Division made an initiative to bring down accidents in Tumkur. Could you please elaborate?’

‘Sure. There were 198 deaths due to accidents from January to July in 2008-09 in Karnataka involving KSRTC buses out of which 46 deaths were in Tumkur alone which was rather alarming. Tumkur decided to do something about it. In a proactive step, they organized Homas to reduce accidents; The homas were conducted non-stop from morning 6 to night 9 ‘o clock at various localities’.

‘Homas? Did they budget it in their Annual Plan?’ I asked.

‘No. It was drawn from Non Plan Expenditure. When they explained their mission to the HQ, we readily sanctioned Rs. 5 lakhs for the specific purpose of homas. They also raised money among drivers and conductors for prasadas’.

‘I see. What is the next Plan’?

‘Since the pilot project is a success, we are going to replicate this in the entire State’.

‘I wonder how you will go about organizing in such a large scale. Surely audit will not allow such huge amounts to be debited to ‘Non-Plane expenditure? CAG will raise a big stinker’.

‘I know. The Homa kundas and Ghee alone will cost us a fortune. We have approached JNNURM for Funds. Such projects are always approved by JNNURM. We are ready with a draft Plan’

‘JNNURM is named after Jawahar Lal Nehru. Our First Prime Minister always insisted on scientific temperament. Could you share some salient features of your Plan?’

‘Sure. Here are the details.

1. Permanent Homa Kunda are needed in each City. Because of its size Bangalore may need 4 or 5 Homa kundas. Municipal Corporation in each city will be our co- partners. BBMP will be our partners in Bangalore. MCC in Mysore and so on…

2.KSRTC will have its own Purohitharu in their roster who will do homas before each trip. Khaki Panche and Shalya will be their uniform. Traffic police in consultation with some Mutts have suggested yellow and black thilakas for men and bindis of similar colours for women.

3. The driver and conductor will make sure the passengers do a pradakshine of homa and the bus before they get in. Prasadas like Rasayana or kobbarisakkare will be distributed before the bus leaves the Stand.

4. After the conductor blows the conch, the driver will start the bus.

The tickets will have permanent red and yellow colours in the corners .It will also match with Karnataka Flag colour which we use during Rajyothsava.

5. Only appata Nandini Ghee will be used throughout for the homas.

These are some of the features. Initially we are restricting these only to Outstation buses. Later we will take a call on bus travel within city limits. But we could make changes as we go along’ said the PRO.

‘Very well thought out plan, I must say. But there could be accidents along the way. How will you prevent them?’

‘Good question. Our ‘Circle Inspectors’ enroute will do a ‘Dhrishti Nivarane’ as the bus enters their area. The circle inspector will break a coconut in front of the bus as his assistant will light an incense stick. A small aarthi will be performed by female members of the circle Inspectors’ office. It is the responsibility of Circle Inspectors that Arthis are done as soon as the bus enters their jurisdiction.’

‘Fine. There is often complaint that stray cattle come in the way of speeding vehicles and busy intersections and are sometimes responsible for accidents? How will you tackle these?’

‘This remains a serious problem. Neither the cattle nor their owners have done anything regarding this so far. By our experience we have found, most of the cattle are harmless and just stand in the middle of the road if they are left alone. The Traffic Police have advised us to get the cattle painted with alternate yellow and black stripes like Zebra stripes. They will help as ‘road dividers’ in single lane roads.’

‘That is good. It will also give some traffic sense and pride to the cattle too.’

‘These are only some aspects of our Draft Plan. We have to refine it further before we finally launch’.

‘I understand. By the way, are you giving your drivers some hands-on training on things like driving, Traffic rules etc?’

‘We have to. We cannot sit back and feel everything will be hunky dory just from homas’.

‘That’s true’, I agreed and left after one more helping of Thambittu.
............
ERR

Future Tense!

2010-03-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

I look forward for my morning coffee from previous night itself. A good filtered coffee with right amount of decoction, milk and sugar is god’s gift to Mankind. At least that’s my incentive to wake up in the morning.

Ajji, as usual, gave me coffee in the morning. It tasted different. In fact it tasted like Hemlock mixed with ‘Bru’te coffee.

‘Ajji! You want to me kill me or what? Why is it so dark and bitter?’

‘This is what you will get from now on; better get used to it. Don’t think you are the Lord in this house. Those days are over. Paathu and Sathu are also human beings. They also drink coffee. I can’t pour all the milk in to your coffee’.

Ajji was in no-nonsense mood. Like Yusuf Pathan.

For the uninitiated, Paathu and Saathu are my sisters – named after Goddesses, Parvathi and Savithri. Don’t you or MFH ever make evil designs on them! These two are tigresses in human skin and can skin anybody alive just with their teeth.

So, the Women’s Reservation Bill, barely 48 hours after getting passed in Rajya Sabha is having its effect already.

I switched on the TV only to see Madam Sonia Gandhi hogging the limelight non-stop. Poor Manmohan doesn’t figure anywhere!

How times can change in a click of a button in Delhi!

Sonia Gandhi sharing few words in Hindi like how men congratulated her saying ‘Bhadhai ho’ has become something of signature screen saver for NDTV. Apple-polishing or plain 24 X 7 ‘Benne Hacchodu’ at its best.

As I went out I had a mild head-ache and stopped by at Indore Medicals for a Crocin. Couple of women were there selecting henna and hair oil. Normally, Bharath would greet me with a smile but now just said ‘Ondu Nimisha’ and was turning his shop upside down searching for aloe -based henna. By the time he had finished, he looked as if he needed an oil bath himself. Another girl came there to exchange the shampoo she had just taken for an exotic one. She wanted one that gives exquisite bounce after washing hair with crushed orange peel beaten with cinnamon and buttermilk pastry.

By now my splitting headache was turning towards hemorrhage; Bharath looked as if he could use couple of crocin himself.

After changing her shampoo with conditioners to one without conditioners but curlers, he sheepishly asked me what I wanted!

While he revived my ebbing life with Crocin and water, he explained, between sips of glucose, he had plans to expand his business with ladies Toiletries, imported perfumes etc. He was going to remove men’s shaving cartridges, blades; after-shave lotions etc and advertise ladies products in that space.

With more and more men going for beard and two-day stubbled look, no wonder Bharath wanted to switch over to Ladies products.

In the evening I came back to watch Germany play England semifinal of World cup hockey. The channel was already hijacked. ‘Woman of Substance’ Award ceremony was going on with all the ladies of the house watching with Ajji sitting in the centre.

Normally Ajji can’t keep herself awake after 8.30 as she gets up before 4.30 in the morning.

‘Ajji! Why are you awake still? Are you alright? Shivarathri is over. Why haven’t you hit the bed yet?’

She asked me to keep quiet by signs showing ‘keep your mouth shut’ followed by a ‘Hush! Hush!’ as she watched Shabana Azmi, Sushmitha Roy. Pathu and Saathu enjoyed Ajji’s acting more than the progrmme! They were happy Ajji had silenced me once.

Next day when I occupied my usual seat in the bus on the way to office, the conductor requested me and my neighbor to get up and vacate our seats for the ladies. We protested as we were sitting in the general seats, but the conductor nonetheless asked the ladies to take our seats.

Later the conductor whispered to me, ‘I could not paint these seats ‘Ladies’ as it was late last night. Better give up these seats willingly. If you create problem they will get the bus converted into “Ladies’ special”. You will have to leg it to your office to and fro, daily’.

That was the best piece of advice to meet the challenges of future!

Now I am ready to drink even kalagacchu everyday.
…………….
ERR

Crocodile comes out of Lake to prevent human intrusion

2010-03-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

A two meter long Crocodile came on to the tank bund walkway to greet the strollers and Joggers at 7.00 in the morning at Kukkarahalli Lake, under the jurisdiction of University of Mysore on Thursday 27 March, 2010

After the intervention of the Vice Chancellor Prof. Talwar and the Director of Zoo, Mr. Vijay Ranjan Singh, the public were kept at a distance as the crocodile safely reentered the waters of the lake without any injury and harm from onlookers.

Is this Nature’s own self-protection mechanism at work? One wonders.

The Rangayana artistes of Mysore were preparing to stage Kuvempu’s play ‘ Malenadina Madhumagalu’ at Rangayana and part of the play was to be enacted on temporary structures to be set up at 3 locations around the Kukkarahalli Lake. The 8- hour experimental play starting from night up to morning, showing different locations of Malenadu was to be staged at Rangayana and around Kuukarahalli Lake.

Sensing disturbance to the ecology at large and for birds, crocodiles and snakes in the lake and to the flora and fauna around, several people had taken up this matter with the Deputy Commissioner Mr. Manivannan and the Vice chancellor Prof. Talwar.

Prof. Talwar though at first refused to consider the request later promised to allow Rangayana provided they followed some guidelines with respect to the safety of animals. Mr. Talwar had also raised questions with regard to the safety of public who would come to watch the play at night in such surroundings.

As it always happens, when human beings dither, Mother Nature thought she should take the matter in her own hands.

Yesterday a 2-meter long Crocodile came out of the lake quietly and was seen sunbathing at the Kukkarahalli Lakebund!

Before a crowd could collect and kill the animal (Remember last year’s killing of a Baby Cheetah near Karanji Lake?), Prof Talwar alerted the zoo authorities and before any mishap could occur, the crocodile having proved a point just slid back to Kukkarahalli Lake.

Now forget the Play, even public will think twice before they jog / take a walk around the lake; At least for the time being.
One thing is for cetain; Kuvempu himself would not have allowed his Play to be staged near the lake disturbing animals and rare plants dotting Kukkarahalli Lake. It seems some sort of poetic justice at work here!

Nature’s ways to save other species are really remarkable. If only man could learn little bit of that humility and not arrogantly intrude in to their space…

Photo courtesy; The Hindu 26 March ‘10

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Conversions of different sorts!

2010-02-13T03:13:00.000-08:00

The Ace Political Expert (APE) was taking a walk in Cheluvamba Park after learning the ‘Rhythmic walk’ from Experts.

As we sat on the roughly mowed lawns of the Park in front of a small heap of sippe Kadlekayi, I asked for his views on the proposal by City Planners of Mysore to convert the JNNURM funded 14-crore newly constructed Bus Stand into a Tonga-cum- Cycle Stand.

‘It’s an excellent idea!’ chortled the APE. ‘No where in Karnataka or in India, have they thought of reviving Tonga as the main vehicle to meet today’s burgeoning traffic! Of course, they will have to construct some cubicle- cum - stables to park the horses. This will entail some additional expenses. But then with so much of JNNURM funds available, this shouldn’t be a problem. There is never a dearth of funds for good projects in our country. When Tongas outnumber KSRTC buses one day, the problem due to air pollution will just evaporate. However, there could be some other issues ...’

‘Such as?’ I butted in mildly annoyed at his uncanny knock of looking for clouds amidst a clear sunny day.

‘The horses pulling the Tongas will create some solid waste as they run through the city. But our city has one of the best Solid Waste Management Systems in the country having bagged National Awards. The pourakarmikaru will clear it as and when solid waste gets created’, the APE asserted.

‘But the fact remains we have just spent Rs. 14 Crores on this swanky bus-stand after inconveniencing the Public for more than couple of years. The Paint is still wet, so to say. Why was this not thought of earlier?’

‘There will always be ‘nay-Sayers’ like you with endless grouse! What is 14 crores when you have woken up and found you were about to destroy the Palace environs by having a bus stand, even if it is newly built after razing the old rickety one ? It’s a pittance when you consider you have just averted a major ecological disaster waiting to happen’.

‘What about Cycle tracks? There is a move to create bicycle tracks in city’s main roads so that people will be enthused to switch over to cycles after disembarking from their cars and scooters?’

‘ Another Excellent idea! People will flock to the Central Business District riding their bicycles and park in the old New Bus stand converted in to Tonga-cum-cycle Stand sharing it with few Tongas and their horses.. There will be no hesitation to switch over to cycles and slipping in to bygone times and bygone era.’

‘Do we have enough space for making cycle tracks, especially in main Roads?’ I asked.

‘Not much, but they will widen the roads if required, by chopping off trees which come in the way. I don’t think that would be necessary. In the absence of cars and scooters, the whole road width will be available for cyclists, except for a few Tongas here and there.’ APE was confidence personified.

‘Since they have had a rethink about the JNURM Bus –stand, do you think there could be similar rethinking else where?’

‘There could be. The subway at Sayyaji Rao Road junction at once comes to my mind.’

‘What could the subway be converted into?’

‘I don’t know. With most people switching over to cycles, the odd pedestrians could cross the road easily. There won’t be any takers for the new subway which might become a new heritage relic and this could result in another wastage of JNNURM Funds. In order to avoid that, I feel, one day they will simply close one gate and convert the subway in to an Underground Shopping Complex, like Palika Bazar in Delhi. This will also bring regular revenue to the Corporation.’

APE seemed to be hitting the bull’s eye.

By now, we had finished the heap of Kadalekayi into Solid wastes of outer covers.

We disposed off the solid waste into a yellow dustbin, the size of only a small letter- box kept for such purpose in Cheluvamba Park which draws hundreds of visitors each day.
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* Picture: courtesy, masthmysore.com

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'Fast Unto Death' to get what you want!

2009-12-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

Take It Easy!

By agreeing to create a Telengana State over KCR’s ‘fast unto death’ UPA has set in a chain reaction which could divide India into bits and pieces.
The power of ‘Fast unto death’, even if it is only for few hours, helps reap rich rewards has been well understood and practiced widely in our country.
Only recently Tamilnadu Chief Minister Thiru Karunanidhi went of a lightning ‘ fast unto death’ for 4 hours after his breakfast and till his Lunch time opposite Gandhi Statue in Marina beach for the cause of Tamils in Sri Lanka. He went on a fast in style complete with cot, pillows and battery-operated fan much to the amusement of everybody except his diehard fans and his ruling partner UPA.
This is one area India with its expertise can export the technique to countries both backward and developed.

Where could the ‘Fast unto Death’ (FUD) be utilized effectively? Let’s have a look.

* Key Indian negotiators Chandrashekar Das gupta and Pradipto Ghosh can go on a FUD under a shamiana in Copenhagen in front of delegates busy with their lavish parties and demand Developed countries to accept India’s policy, which at the time of going to fast is still not clear either to Environment Minister Jairam Ramesh or his Prime Minsiter Manmohan Singh.

* External Ministry Twins S.M. Krishna and Shashi Tharoor , could have gone on a FUD in front of Finance Minister Pranab Mookherjee’s House. After offering them lemon juice Pranob Dada would have then agreed they can stay in Rs.15000/ per night at Hotel Maurya as long as they wanted.

* Karnataka chief Minister B.S. Yeddyurappa and his handful of loyal ministers could go on a fast; till death of course, in front of Chamundi temple warning the Goddess that she and only she would be responsible if anything untoward happened to the C.M.

…… *100 ft apart in a shamiana dissidents fresh from their wining and gorging ways in Hyderabad resort, would have replied with a FUD of their own asking Goddess Chamundi not to heed to C.M.’S fast and requesting her to depute Mathaji Sushma Sawaraj to evict the incumbent.

* Behen Mayawathi (BMW) could threaten the Supreme Court with a FUD for stopping the construction of Marble Statues in Lucknow. One look at the impoverished BMW, the full Bench of the Supreme Court would have been convinced to sit on the marble floor to hear her plea to construct many more statues of the C.M.

*Suresh Kalmadi could have sat on the unfinished stadium in Delhi and gone on a FUD till Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) recall their CEO Mike Hooper Mike as Kalmadi just cannot share space with him in Delhi.

*Madhu Koda may still take recourse to FUD just to prove that he is innocent. Koda need not do that. Sonia already feels that he is innocent.

*Santosh Hegde may go on a FUD in front of Chief Minister’s House, for not taking action against corrupt State Government officers caught red-handed. Government may not oblige Hegde, as where will it find space in jail to throw so many employees and their political heavyweight friends and what will the Government do with empty quarters not to speak of empty offices?

*Imagine…If only Shivraj Patil had undertaken a FUD, he could have remained a Home Minister after sipping orange juice from the Chairperson of UPA...

And finally,

*Bal Thackeray will not FUD insisting that a Muslim be made an Indian Prime Minister.

If the choice is between Tendulkar and Gavaskar for the post of Prime Minister, Bal Thackeray will prefer Gavaskar, may never want Tendulkar, but safe to say, he will not go on a FUD for either of them.

If there is a chance, however slim it is, he will go on a FUD… that is if there is remotest possibility of Uddhav Thackeray becoming the Prime Minister.

Uddhav Thackeray? Yes.

Don’t laugh.

Such laughable events have happened before.

Who else do you think will go on FUD to achieve their ends?
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*Picture courtesy: World News

Amorphophallus titanum- largest flower of the planet!

2009-11-24T03:49:00.000-08:00

Amorphophallus titanum , also called as cadaverous flower has the peculiarity of blooming only three days once every 40 years, a privilege that Mother Nature bestowed on the town of Rio Blanco, Veracruz , Mexico.

Something unusual happened in this town in the high mountains in the centre zone of the State of Veracruz with the apparition of the plant listed as the largest flower of the planet.

The plant is two meters high and weighs 75 kilos!

This is a forward from my friend. if anybody has more information, please share with MBP readers.

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Terror Noose Channel!

2009-11-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

Take it Easy!

With dedicated channels already for Sports, Music, Food etc., it won’t be surprising if a dedicated News Channel for Terror comes on the airways soon. A peek at the sample News…

This is the Terror Channel Hq , Here’s the Zero Hour Noose:

First the bullets:

• Government presents its 5-year Terror Policy
• R& D for Terror will be strengthened.
• Experts lend a hand in Training
• Terror Tourism takes shape
• World’s best Terror Exporter
• Weather

The Noose in detail:

The Minister for Terror Affairs XXX dressed in bullet-proof jacket presented Government’s 5-year Terror Policy from his Z++ Bunker to the Parliamentarians. ‘Too many people are claiming responsibility whenever an attack takes place. Nobody really knows who is behind a particular strike’ the Minister added. The new comprehensive policy plans to bring Taliban, LeT , Harkat-ul-Mujahidin, Jaish-e- Mohammed, Jamaat ud Dawah and some Government Agencies, under a New Terror Umbrella. The Minister was confident that United States which has been approached would as usual finance the whole project after their Senate passes it unanimously.

Addressing the oft- repeated criticism that ‘three to four terror incidents in a week is peanuts’, the Minister promised a new policy of ‘ hit a day’ with immediate effect. There will be an improvement both in quality and quantity, he assured the members. However, to achieve this, he warned, they may have to approach the EU and World Bank for additional finance.

**

Government will not lag behind in coming out with new weapons, said a spokesperson. Speaking on conditions of anonymity she said guns, grenades, ammos, AK47s and 57s, petrol bombs are easily sniffed by sniffer dogs. Car bombs fail to start at crucial times. If we do not find immediate steps to overcome such problems, dog days await us. This should be taken as a new challenge at our R& D Centers, she warned.

**

With so many attacks going on everyday, our country is ideal for promoting Terror Tourism which will help us to earn foreign Exchange. It is planned to call the ace Bollywood Producer- Director from India who took his Chief Minister once for terror tourism will be invited here to for the inaugural. Practically all our major cities are excellent Terror Tourism Centres. Some of the places already identified are our major hotels, Army Hq., Bus Depots, Army silos, Hospitals, cricket stadia, schools etc. These will be preserved as heritage places. Soon a Director for Terror Tourism will be appointed to promote Tourism.

**

Terror channel is happy to report ace terror specialists will come to our studio and give training in preparing bombs, triggering attacks using mobile phones, how to throw grenades from a moving bus etc. Specialists who are unfairly arrested due to international pressure will directly come from judicial custody to our studio and train youngsters who are keen to enter this profession. If our studio gets blown during hands-on training, we will temporarily operate from a ripped school or damaged Army Hq.

**

We continue to be regarded as the Best Terror Exporter and we just have no competition! The only that can set us back is complacency. Recognizing this, the President has set up a committee to explore new countries where we can scout and start exporting our products on a regular basis.

**

The weather has been a spoilsport last 3 months. Our R& D has planned to make water-proof bombs, grenades and matchboxes so essential for our line of activity. The raincoats too need pouches which are waterproof so that the goodies work even when they are wet and spongy.

It has been either raining or snowing in most countries which is a huge dampener for most activities including ours. We hope sun will show up soon so that we can liven up a bit and do some action at Airports, Hotels or at least our own Army dump yard.

That’s the end of the Zero hour Noose.

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What Do They Really Want?!

2009-11-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

Take It Easy.

The political imbroglio involving Yeddy Single and Reddy Triples which looked a mathematical indeterminate just a few hours back seems to be near a solution, after all.

This is not because, the Central BJP exercised their power and stood up tall to quell the rebellion, not because the Chief Minister stooped lower and lower to accommodate the wishes of the Miner Brothers, but the acceptance of all necessary and sufficient conditions imposed by the Brothers.

We know only some 6 conditions which are discussed in the open but the N & S conditions were found in a chit near the resort in Hyderabad. A BJP Observer hovering around hotels near Hyderabad found a chit, size of gutka paper which just about gave the point by point items agreed to between the Chief Minister ( also referred to as ‘Kamsa’) and Janardhana Reddy ( Alias ‘Krishna).

The Brothers felt, the conditions, will usher in Rama Rajya again and the ‘new golden’ period will be better than the one during Krishna Devaraya.

The conditions as mentioned in the soiled chit now agreed, approved and soon –to –be- promulgated are as under:

1. Bellary will be the new IT capitol (Information Technology) of Karnataka. All the major IT offices will immediately move their offices to Bellary. The entire cost of new offices, shifting etc will be met by the Triumvirate.
2. Consequently the IT Department (Income tax) will be shifted out of Bellary preferably out of Karnataka.
3. President Obama should be instructed to use phrase such as ‘Bellaried’ rather than ‘Bangalored’.
4. Vidhana doudha will be shifted to Bellary Stone- by- stone. The entire Cost will be borne by the trio.
5. Dasara will be shifted to Bellary from Mysore. The elephants will be airlifted from Nagarahole direct to the site. Jambosavari and Torchlight Parade will be celebrated in a new stadium with a capacity of 1, 00,000 construction of which will start next week.
6. Each of the MLA in Karnataka should have his / her own Helicopter. Given the pathetic state of roads that have been reduced to in the last 60 years, it is better MLAs hop around in Helicopters than travel by road to speedily attend to flood / drought relief work.
7. The MLAs need not depend on their salary from State exchequer. They can keep the same as pocket money. Arrangements have already been made to have their new salary, of undisclosed amount, to them in person.
8. The Metro work underway in Bangalore should be suspended and shifted to Bellary.
9. Bellary will have an international Reddy Airport like the Kennedy Airport. It will be funded privately.
10. Bellary will be the new capitol of Karnataka.

Bellary Brothers also had few conditions for the Central Leadership too.

1. Sushma Swaraj whom they hold in high esteem like their mother, should immediately take over as BJP President. She will be referred to as ‘Ma Swaraj’ by one and all.
2. Advaniji who is like Bhishma Pithamaha will advise Ma Swaraj about affairs of State, if and when asked.
3. Advaniji will be provided with a Hummer, converted into a chariot so that he can often go on his Bharath Rath Yathra.
4. Rajnath singhji, the new Vidura will either accompany Advaniji if required or stay put in Delhi.
5. Arun Jaitley, the new Dronacharya will be made the new BCCI and IPL Chief so that he doesn’t have to bother about Karnataka anymore.

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Railway Profits - Who is Right?

2009-07-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

While presenting the Rail Budget, the new Raiway Minister Ms. Mamata Bannerjee informed the year-end surplus for the year 2007-2008 was RS. 8000 Crores whereas Mr. Lalu Prasad Yadhav the previous High- flying Railway Minister had claimed the accumulated profit over the last five years is Rs. 90,000 Crores.

Mamata Bannerjee has promised to come out with a white paper on the total operation for the last 5 years, much to the discomfiture of Lalu. The Prime Minister welcomed her decision to bring a white Paper.

The question is:

1. The Prime Minster himself a renowned economist; His Finance Minister till recently is also a product of Harvard and has presented ‘dream ‘Budgets several times.

2. The Planning commission has several experts including Montek Singh Ahluwalia.

3. Most of Newspapers have well known economics expert writing a weekly column.

The profit mentioned by Mamata is around Rs. 8000 crores at the end of 2007-2008. Assuming it grew at the same flat value the last 5 years, the profit at best should be Rs. 40.000 crores for the last 5 years.

The claims of Lalu Prasadji of 90, 000 crores for the same period is, more than 100 % of the probable actual figures.

How come there is such a variance and the question that comes to mind is , has any of the experts checked and cross checked whether the claims made by the previous Rail Minister was correct?

We talk of failure of Lehman Bros and Sathyam etc where the needle of suspicion is on the auditors.

How come such wide and wild figures are bandied about in Planning commission and Parliament? No doubt a white Paper will help. But shouldn’t such figures be checked and audited for their veracity before making claims how international Business schools are making Indian Railway operations as their case study?
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Why do we visit ancient temples, monuments?

2009-06-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

One of the reasons why we visit heritage places is to know the historical or spiritual background of the place ( Sthala Purana) and appreciate the monumental efforts that went in to the creation of such enormous beauty, structure or edifice. That is why Mona Lisa is eternal, as also the Taj Mahal or Effiel Towers.

In Mysore we have equally fantastic places of interest such as The Chamundi Hills, Brindavan Gardens ,The Amba Palace to name only a few. These places have great background story / history behind their creation and toursits coming from alll over the world will give anything to know about the Sthala Purana such as who / when created this and how did they do it?

Instead of giving that historical bit of news what do we give to quench the thirst of the inquiring toursit? See the first picture.

This board next to famous Nandi sculpture in Chamundi Hills does not give any detail about the monument. It says , in both Kannada and English the following: "Quote":

PROTECTED ANCIENT MONUMENT

Under Setion 3 of the Karnataka Ancient and historical monuments and archeological sites and Remains Act 1961, this is declared as a protected monument. Whoever destroys, removes, injures, alters, defaces, imperils or misuese this protected monument shall be punushable with imprisonment which may extend to three months or with fine which may extend to two thousand rupees or with both as per Section 26 of the Karnataka Ancient and Historial Monuments and Archological Sites and Remains Act 1961.

By Order

Director,

Directorate of Archaelogy and

Museums in Karnataka, Mysore " Unquote"

There is no mention anywhere when it was sculpted , which period, under which king, who was the sculptor etc! In some places there is some alteration in the board such as President of India Hon. xxx visited the site on date / month / year etc.

In Chamundi Hills itself though the chamundi temple came during Yadava period, there is a Mahalingeshwara temple which is attributed to 4th , 5th century A.D. In fact people are supposed to visit the Shiva temple and then only visit Chamnudi temple. Probably Yadavas themselves might have practised the worship in that order.

It is true lot of miscreants and even educated idiots indulge in sculpting their and their lovers' names on priceless heritage monuments and to prevent such henious acts warning is indeed necessary. There are no two opinions on that.

But shouldn't a tourist, visitor who comes from all over the country and all over the world know the historical significance and detals of that place. Not all can afford a toursist guide and basic details should be made available as a right to the tourist. Then only you can call your city as truly a heritage city!

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Chennapatna Toys

2009-06-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

In Chennapatna they make some of the finest toys for over 5 decades.They are inexpensive and most importantly, unlike the chinese toys where they use lead paint, they use safer vegetable dyes for bright and cheerful colours.

The Government of Karnataka and the Central Government should make efforts to promote this industry which is crying for attention. If given proper help and infrastructure they can come out with toy car models and scaled down models of buildings etc . Our officials travel far and wide, make junkets to China, but do not find time to promote safer local toys in International market!

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Wear helmet or else!

2009-05-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

The message by the portugese professor is so simple and persuasive ! There is no need for second opinion.

Babying the hair!

2009-04-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

How did mothers and grandmothers look after their hair when they were young? Did they have mind-boggling range of hair oils to choose from, a bewildering variety of shampoo and an equal number of conditioners to wash off the oil and lather, and dryers throwing up hot air?

Most of them swore by coconut hair oil, the pure variety from Kerala and Thiptur famous for swaying coconuts trees. Some times an Ajji or Pati would add specific churnas like neem to bring luster and bounce to the tresses once washed. After rinsing in hot water, washing it with seegekayi ( sheekakai ) powder made into a fine paste would cleanse the hair thoroughly. This was the secret of their long dense thick and black hair, some of them having, almost down to their knees. It was like this from ages. When I say ages, I mean down from Ramayana and Mahabharath days. Nobody ever heard of a Sita, Draupadi, Damayanthi and Menaka or for that matter saints like Vashista or Vishwamitra ever complain of lice, tics or worms, then. At least the Great Epics do not record their complaints.

Till recently most of the family members were given oil bath on Sundays, with different strokes for different people. While men lounged around for the oil to soak-in and finally had hot water poured on them with a brisk massage of their backs in between, it was all different for the ladies at home. First a generous helping of Keshavardhini pure coconut oil and a thorough massage of the scalp, hot water followed by generous application of seegekayi made into a paste. The deadly combo of seegekayi and hot water would remove all traces of oil leaving a lustrous bouncy long tress.

The final babying of hair would come as the lady lay on the ground, grandma would light sambrahni with a burning charcoal under a cane basket whose aromatic fumes would dry the tresses spread around the basket and swirl around the house spreading the fragrance.

How is it done nowadays? It is just a comparison to see how times have changed!

I have been to houses of my friends on Sundays mornings to see the ladies give a sumptuous meal of white and yellow of eggs directly poured on their heads, patting their head as if it is a Nirlep thava while my friend sat there in a corner looking famished with just a couple of bread slices, remembering the salad days of omelets and fried eggs with sunny-side up for his breakfast.

In some houses, ladies poured freshly prepared chilled yoghurt on their heads mixing it with well- mashed ripe banana into a fine messy paste; subsequently a freshly crushed orange juice mixed 50:50 with home made wine and a tsp of butter with a pinch of henna would land at the same site. This seasoning would continue non-stop for half an hour while my friend ate dry upma with coffee for breakfast from a flask. After the ritual of a long rich breakfast for hair, next came the most comprehensive bath for hair, which was just a part of a body. They were washed with rich shampoo made richer with all the herbs available in sub Saharan forests, aloe vera mixed with fresh vegetables available in Mylapore and Mysore. The green, not the yellow variety, lemon grown in Venezuela, ginger from Argentina was mixed and crushed with holy water, from Haridwar on top of the head.

The babying of hair with breakfast food was supposed to give rich well- fed look to the lady next to a permanently starved- looking husband, his hungry beady eyes eagerly searching for free food from any quarter possible.

When such a costly mixture cheaply called ‘shampoo’ was used to remove the breakfast sitting on the head, week after week, naturally it would create such a big hole in all pant pockets. Once an anxious friend –cum- bank accountant warned me I would go bald and grey around same time if I continued this rich treatment of my wife’s head!

Coming back to the days of Ajjis and Patis, during mallige season, moggina Jade was a must for the sweet grandchild of the family from flowers grown in the family garden.

Here is Aarushi fully decked up with a moggina Jade. I had the pleasure of meeting Aarushi and her Ajji in a studio last month where Aarushi had come to take a picture of her moggina Jade.

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Once upon a time, eating Nanjanagud hallupudi

2009-04-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

I would like to share , with MBP Readers , this article which was recently published in Blog Churumuri and Mysore mail.

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Our grandparents mostly used neem twigs to give a brisk rub-in to their teeth first thing in the morning. This simple device was good enough to keep their teeth clean and sparkling for almost their entire lifetime.
They ate anything from ragi mudde to jowar bhakri and chicken, pullangai unde to dink laadu.
Despite these rigours, their teeth used to be like The Wall—strong, reliable and always ready to tackle what the opposition threw at them all day. Most of our ancestors even capped their sumptuous meal by chewing the juice of a betel nut or doing a small ceremony with betel leaves, sunna and sugandhi betel nut powder.
Teeth, thus nurtured and nourished, lasted years. Tooth ache? There was always a dash of soothing lavang (clove) oil massage to calm the nerves.

They had never heard of a species called the dentist.

Then came charcoal powder, B.V. Pandit’s sweet and pinkish tooth care wonder “Nanjangud hallu pudi” in a 4-inch by 3-inch brown paper bag. You made a small, triangular hole in the corner and inverted it on your palm to pour out only that much quantity for a one-time brushing.

If a bigger heap fell out, you just ate a part of the pudi!

Using the forefinger as a brush, one stroked the power to the left and right of the mouth, brushing the teeth and strenghtening the gums at the same time. Left, right. Left, right, it went on. There were some who went on like this for ages till their mothers shouted at them to ‘stop’ it! A dash of water, rinsing and one was ready for filter coffee.

Still not many knew who or what a dentist was because he/she had yet to appear on the horizon.

Next came the era of toothpaste. Dazzling tubes with colorful caps which squirted white, red, coloured and sometimes stripes of paste! Binaca, Colgate, Kolynos, Forhan’s (”Doctor’s Toothpaste!”) without ‘jhag’ (lather).
The marketing of Binaca was done by Ameen Sayani’s ‘Binaca Geet Mala’, which the whole country heard on radio on Wednesday nights between 8 and 9, irrespective of which toothpowder or paste one used, or whether one brushed the teeth at all.
Dinner used to be after the buglers sounded the song of the week based on the 78 RPM records of Hindi film songs sold in Bombay during the week.
After toothpastes came the marketing blitzkrieg on toothbrush. Hard, medium, soft, conical, comical bristles would take care of your teeth. You could vigorously brush the enamel on your teeth to certain death.

Around that time, some doctors who, for some strange reason called ‘Dentists’ were spotted near the market area.

Soon, with the advent of peppermints, toffees and chocolates, they started multiplying like, well, flies on a sweet. As imported and local fancy chocolates entered the scene with silver and gold wrappers, dentists started opening their swanky shops complete with water jets, spittoons and high speed jets for both water and hot-air.
People casually started dropping words like “I have an appointment with my dentist” in the middle of a conversation. “Excuse me; I have to see my dentist.” The dentist replaced your tooth with a gold, silver, even a diamond tooth like a diamond ear-ring depending on the bulge of your purse.
Models smiling from ear-to-ear for no reason and doctors in front of tooth cutouts started appearing on TV forcing Babloos and Chintus to smile, again, for no reason.

Soon after, electric tooth brushes arrived, enabling busy people to brush their teeth with a whirr, just like they shaved with an electric shaver. You could get a shining sparkling set of teeth not by old fashioned brushing, but by electrolysis which simultaneously made a big hole in your pocket.
You could keep on X-raying your errant tooth till, by the sheer dosage, your tooth could get tuberculosis.

Now like the software scenario, the toothpaste bubble seems to have burst. Leading orthodontists are now saying electrolysis weakens the gums and is dangerous to the heart. Oral scientists and orthopantomographists are saying grandma’s methods like brushing with fingers and using neem twigs are best and it is the best way of taking care of your teeth!

The future, thank god, is going back to the past!

Rahul (in picture) is indeed happy now.

Namdroling Tibetan Golden Temple Bylakuppe near Mysore

2009-04-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

When the spiritual Guru of Tibetans His Holiness The Dalai Lama fled Tibet with his followers, India was the only country that gave place to settle the refugees in Dharmsala in North and Bylakuppe, Kodagu district near Mysore in South. Recently they celebrated their Fifty years of exile in India and thanked the Indian Government for resettling them in an alien place and embraced them as their own.
It is never easy that a civilization can be transplanted in a totally alien climate. There are several factors like the culture, ethos, language and living style comes in the way of a successful implant. There is always a foreign body rejection possibility not to speak of Insiders’ vs. Outsiders’ scenario. Such being the case most of times distrust gives way to disharmony and finally the outsiders have to leave.
It is to the everlasting credit to India, it gave place and helped them to take roots in India by giving their children education, land for agriculture and finance them for small business.

Today Bylakuppe is a well- settled race of Tibetans among Mysoreans and Kodavas. After 50 years, their children work in hospitals, shops and offices.

What is heartening is, Tibetans have maintained their culture intact. Their Namdroling Tibetan monastery Golden Temple with statue of Lord Buddha in Bylakuppe is a major tourists Center where you will find hundreds of young Tibetans at pray.

How many countries could have done what India itself, not very well off, did 50 years ago? It is something that we can be rightly proud of.

Again India is perhaps the only Country which has helped her neighbors in times of war and has returned after the work was over and has not occupied the Land. History is full of accounts where the victor has never left the land entirely after the work was over. From both Bangladesh and Sri Lanka India completed the operation successfully and did not stay there.

Stop the practice of Animal sacrifice

2009-03-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

While India, a developing country is maintaining a continuous higher percentage of growth rates of more than 8% every year and is an acknowledged leader of Software industry, some of the medieval practices and prejudices that we follow rank us almost at the bottom of the heap.

Take for instance, the animal sacrifices to propiate known and unknown Gods for getting sudden wealth, prosperity and long life. Even today, hundreds of cows, buffalos, sheep, and goats are slaughtered in the name of some religion or other and thousands of liters of blood splashed in various temples to seek divine intervention and overnight prosperity. Neither the political parties, nor the officials of the Government have made any efforts to stop this wretched practice. More often political parties and their satraps are themselves involved in this mumbo-jumbo practice and use the Police machinery to subvert the law.

Despite awareness due to spread of education, superstition still persists amongst some innocents which are fully exploited by charlatans and unscrupulous poojaris promising unlimited wealth and prosperity will be theirs if they kill animals and propiate gods with the blood and force them to practice this barbaric act. They do not even hesitate to force the victims to kill their own children to attain imaginary unlimited wealth and prosperity.

It is here the Government, both at Centre and States have failed the people all these years. The religious Mutts of all faiths have turned a blind eye to this social menace of alarming proportions. Both animal lovers as well as institutions working for the welfare of animals are unable to do anything in this regard. The Government should make sure stringent punishments are meted out to those who indulge in such inhuman acts.
Will Government introduce tougher laws, make sure they are strictly adhered to and mean business by punishing those who scuttle the laws whosoever they might be?

It is a shameful and disgraceful for a country which is ready to send astronauts to moon, which ranks right at the top with regard to scientific manpower, just unable to stop this barbaric, heinous practice of animal sacrifice even after Sixty years of Independence.

We need to end this abhorring practice once and for all.

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Merchants of Death

2009-02-28T08:03:00.000-08:00

Why is our public health- conscious Health Minister Hon. Anbumani Ramdoss barking up the wrong tree again? Why does he want to bring in compulsory prohibition all over again when it failed miserably last time unless he wants to give jobs to millions of bootleggers? Why is he missing the woods for the trees?

Sabarkantha in Gujarat is reeling under outbreak of Hepatitis –B and similar deaths lurk around our hospitals. Doctors in collusion with rag pickers- yes, rag pickers are buying used syringes to be recycled into hospitals. Police found used syringes, needles, medical waste from scrap dealers. In essence, these doctors are merchants of death. Why doesn’t our Health Minister initiate action and prosecute those doctors and give them a lifer?

Again why is he keeping quiet when doctors are openly prescribing banned drugs and in collusion with chemists, sell them in drug stores across the counter?

Has he bothered to investigate why medicines are ‘out of stock’ in Government hospitals, but the same are sold in Chemists’ shops across the country? Why is he not aware of these things when they are happening right under his nose? Why doesn’t he take time off from his pet obsessions and devote his time to tackle major health problems? Even now our record in Child Morbidity and Mortality rate is abysmal and compares with sub-saharan region. Doesn’t he just care and / or is he keeping a safe distance from it all saying ‘Health is a State Subject’!?

Why doesn’t the Health Minister tackle the major heath issues first and later attend to his pet projects?

The Minister is sincere and hardworking. If only he focuses his attention on Major issues, he could really make a difference.

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Masala Dose at Vidyarthi Bhavan, Bangalore

2009-02-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

Masala Dosas are popular all over the world now. But have anyone of you tasted the MD at Vidyarthi Bhavan in Basavanagudi ( or Gandhi Bazaar ) in Bangalore? Your life is incomplete if you have not tasted this! It must come in your list of' things to do before I die'!

It is a minute walk from the Gandhi bazaar circle. Started in early 1940 meant for students in the area , gradually it started attracting people from all walks of life. Since its dose became so popular and famous, the owner stopped making other dishes as people came from far and wide only for the masale dose. The accepted drill here is , you eat Rava Vade and wait for MD.

Vidyarthi Bhavan has a narrow longish hall which could seat around 35 to 40 people.Later as the rush became too much and space was a constraint, they arranged couple of benches at the 'sanctum sanctorum' - the kitchen where the Doses were made! You would get a first hand view of how the dosas were fried with pure ghee and after the 'masale' was put in, another dollop of ghee before the dosa took a golden hue colour. As the Dosas were served not one or two or even three at a time - it's more like 15 to 20s at a time with the server deftly carrying the goodies to disgorge to the eagerly waiting Dosa- aradhakas.The waiter balancing the dosas is carrying 19 plates!Chutney doesn't come in spoons but poured out from a vessel with refill available as soon as you finish the first helping.

Recently Vidyarthi Bhavan has expanded, but the result is the same. You still have to stand next to the person devouring his / her dosa before you can occupy the seat!

During our college days when money was always inversely prortional to hunger, we used to pool all our bits and pieces and order a 5 /8 Dosas, i.e., 5 dosas for 8 people. Even when you order 2/3 dosas, - 2 dosas served for 3 people, invariably one of the 3 would get two pieces. It used to be a suspense who would be the beneficiary of the waiter's largesse!

There was a time when customers fought over passionately which was the better Masala Dosa - the one you get at Mavalli Tiffin Rooms - MTR - or Vidyarthi Bhavan ? Later people realised you don't compare Shelly with Keats or for that matter Erapalli Prasanna with B.S. Chandrasheakr or GRV with SMG. Each one is unique in his own way.It's good we have a variety to enjoy the uniqueness of each. So it is with Dosa!

Just go there this week- end and dash for you seat. Those of you who are outside Bangalore, this should come in your list 'to do' when you visit there next time!

*** The photograph is courtesy of, Blog Churumuri and a mouth-watering article on Mosale doses by Ratna Rao shekar who has published the picture.

Her Tryst with Marriage.....

2008-11-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

This is true story of Lakshmi which was recently posted in blog Churumuri which I would like to share here with MBP readers. Some characters have been added to help the narrative.

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The crowd around was laughing and jeering at her. Her saree was torn and hair disheveled and she was not even conscious of that. She was alternately laughing and crying while shouting ‘Nanna Madve Aagthiyeno?’ (‘Will you marry me?’)

Narahari came out running and took Lakshmi home.

Lakshmi ( All names changed) was my classmate Narahari’s sister.

Born to a middle class family, her father was an Accountant in A.G.’s office in Bangalore. Lakshmi was a very pretty girl and a tomboy to boot. As a child she liked to play ’Gombe Aata’ with her toys, setting up a home, cooking for her husband while cradling a baby in her arms. She loved playing with ‘Pattada Gombe’ before her parents set up the stalls for Navarathri.

As was the custom those days, the elders decided that she would be married to Bhaskar - Lakshmi’s mother’s brother. In family gatherings, they would often tease Bhaskar as to when he will marry Lakshmi. Lakshmi herself would ask him –‘Nanna yavaga maduve Aagthiyo, nanna Ganda?!’ (When will you marry me, my husband?!). His discomfiture made elders laugh at Bhaskar who by now had turned crimson. On ‘Bheemana Amavase’ she would pray god to grant her a good husband.

After degree, I joined Engineering and Narahari went for medicine. Bhaskar went to Manipal to study medicine. Lakshmi grew into a beautiful girl and after her graduation took up music. A tomboy gradually grew into a demure and charming girl.

We didn’t have much of communication and once in a way, I would drop into Narahari’s house. Once I jokingly asked Lakshmi, ‘How is your would be husband, Bhaskar?’ She merely blushed and ran inside.

Bhaskar’s visit to Bangalore gradually reduced as he was busy with his internship. When the date was fixed for his ‘Nishithartha’ (engagement ceremony) after his graduation, Bhaskar shocked everybody saying he was in love with his classmate and he didn’t want to marry Lakshmi .He snubbed his parents saying elders had no business to get their children betrothed and marriage is certainly not a child’s play .

Bhaskar’s decision, a shocker to everybody, was more so to Lakshmi who had grown with the thought that Bhaskar was her husband ever since she was barely 3 years. It was a dream that lay shattered.

Bhaskar married his colleague Shaila and set up a clinic in Bangalore. Meanwhile, Lakshmi immersed herself in carnatic music and started giving free lessons to the girls of

Abalashrama in Gandhi bazaar and took pains to settle the girls in life through marriage or a job. If there was any chance for an alliance or a job for any of her students she would run across to explore the opportunity. She flatly refused to have any discussion at home about her own marriage.

It was in one such meeting, she met Shankar who had a business of his own. Ever since he lost his parents in an accident, that left his sister Priya partially paralysed, he had decided to remain a bachelor. He was selling imported equipment and mostly supplied to Defense Establishments in Bangalore. Deeply interested in music, he was a member of the Gayana Samaja. Shankar hired meritorious but disabled and disadvantaged in his company as he felt equal opportunity should be given to all.

Though nothing came out of Lakshmi’s meeting with Shankar, their common ideals and tastes brought them closer. He saw and admired the efforts Lakshmi made to settle her students in life and pitched in help wherever possible.

Though it started as a professional relationship, it soon blossomed into a friendship. They started attending concerts together. Shankar also encouraged her students by giving them chance to sing in Junior Artistes competition in Gayana Samaja.

Lakshmi had confided in him her failed alliance with Bhaskar and Shankar in turn, about his sister whom he will have to take care lifelong.

It was on the eve of Dasara, Shankar confessed his love for her. He had broached the topic just as she was arranging the ‘Pattada Gombe’ for Navarathri celebrations. As she listened to him, memories of her childhood flashed across when she grew up thinking Bhaskar as her husband. ‘Have I come out of my ‘Gombe Aata’ days ‘she wondered? Will I be able to look after Shankar’s disabled sister for the rest of my life?

She knew Shankar loved her deeply and was scared that she might lose him too if she didn’t decide soon.

Next morning she phoned Shankar and gave her consent.

They decided to get married in a temple by just exchanging garlands. Prior to that, they planned to inform their close relatives.

On Deepavali eve, they went to buy clothes for their wedding. Shankar chose a traditional red colour saree for Lakshmi, and she bought a Salvar-kurtha set for him.

While they were driving home, Shankar wanted to stop by in City market and buy few fire-crackers for his office staff.

He parked the car across and while he was coming back with the packet of crackers in hand, a fire broke in one of the shops which soon spread and the whole shopping area was ablaze. The crackers in his hand burst knocking him down.

Lakshmi who was only few meters from the ghastly scene, got out of the car and ran towards Shankar even as she saw him getting engulfed in the blazing inferno. She fainted right there. Some Samaritans rushed and try to save as many lives as they could.

Shankar’s body was charred and he succumbed to third degree burns in the hospital.

When Lakshmi woke up she was at home. She was still in a daze but wanted to see him. When she saw Shankar for the last time, she did not cry but ran back to her room and would not open the door.

Much later when they had all come back from the funeral, she opened the door and came out. She was decked up fully in the bridal red saree with pallu drawn up to her forehead as a bride. Suddenly she started laughing and started tearing her saree.

When Narahari and Bhaskar ran to hold her, she was alternately laughing and crying, saying ‘Nanna Madve Agthiyeno? (‘Will you marry me?’)

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Bloom in Brussels

2008-10-21T21:38:00.000-07:00

Feast for the eyes!

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Bring Global Handwash into Mid-Day Meals

2008-10-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

Global Handwashing Day was celebrated on October, 15, 2008.
It is a matter of delight and pride we had raised this topic in ‘Giving it a shot’ a couple of months back on 6th June , 2008
(http://gvk-givingitashot.blogspot.com/2008/06/two-simple-practises-for-better-health.html)

With increasing mortality and morbidity rates amongst our children and medical facility woefully inadequate, child specialists and educationalists have grappled with the question of how we can make our children from repeatedly falling sick and making them more and more hygene-conscious.It is while discussing this topic amongst friends, an idea came if we can somehow keep our children clean before they eat food, at least the poison from the toys, street muck, cattle bacteria could be kept away. The idea was strengthened by the fact that children stay half their waking hours in school and that is where they are most likely to pick up infections, bacteria, bugs and what have you.
Since a majority of schools provide hot midday meals to our children, if we can incorporate a system of thorough handwash with soap and drying up with a clean towel, it would be a major preventive and precautionary step and an important step in the right direction. It is not easy to put in to practice everyday and weeks and months. It needs great involvement from the school, the staff, the support staff and the parents themselves.
Since Government funds mid day meals, perhaps an incremental allocation for soap or soap solution, clean towel should take care of the necessary infrastructure. What is more important is the dedication, discipline by all involved to make this a success. Even Corporate Houses can be persuaded to get involved and fund this as part of their social commitment.
One thing is certain. If they get involved and make sure it is practiced until it becomes a habit, the rewards will follow like sunshine following darkness of night. And when something becomes a habit with children they will start practicing at home and make sure their parents do it too along with them.

The choice is clear. Should we spend an incremental amount and effort in inculcating a good habit bound to reap rich dividends in the long run or continue to spend large amounts on medicines, injections etc? Not to speak of missing school every now and then for small ailments that affect our children. This is even more relevant in schools in our villages.

For children, like Megha and Rahul, in the picture ,Preventive measures act as a chain with strong links .These links grow into safety shield as they grow and become powerful allies.

MYsore Netizens Association –MYNA is keen to take this up at various levels, through other NGOs, Government, and Corporate Houses etc to make this into a reality.
……………
MYNA
Mysore Netizens Association

The little genius - Satwik

2008-10-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Young Satwik walked into our house with his mother Mallika from Kuvempu nagar, Mysore when he was 3 years old singing:

Dose, Dose,

Ajji Maadida Dose,

Garigariyada Dose

( Dosa, Dosa, The one Granny makes, crispy and Tasty)

He was all 3 years when he could sing this ditty .Soon he lost his speech and later he was losing touch with reality..He was becoming an autistic child. His teacher found him brilliant but due to his condition, the body could not keep pace with his amazing racing brain.Autism is really a brilliant mind caght in a hopeless body unable to keep pace with the brain.Some of you might have seen the brilliant portrayal of autism in 'Rainman' by Dustin Hoffman.

Satwik could not play with other children as he was in his own world.He cannot write himself as his hand does not get enough support from the muscles to hold the pencil .When supported he can scribble always the correct answer as his brain has grasped all there is to know.He does not talk. He learnt slowly but his teacher never could understand when he sees a page or listens to her!
He can swim like a fish, cycle as if he is doing Tour de France and skate beautifully.

Once he went to see KRS dam. There his father tried to explain details about the dam. Satwik, hardly saw anything and seemingly nothing fell on his ears. When he came home he typed all the answers such as height of dam,When it was built, the dam capacity in cusecs, who built it etc!He typed this on the keyboard of a computer when given support to his hand.Next day, we thought we will test him.We typed out ( a+b)2 = a2 +2ab+b2. Then we typed ( c+d)2 =

When support was given to his hand he typed out c2+2cd+d2 !He was 4 when he did this.

He did many sums like this.

He moved to Kurnool two years back as his father Srinivasa Rao was transferred.
Last year he was one of the disabled children from all over India to meet President Kalam.He must have dazzled the great man too.

Last month he was awarded the best disabled child in the country by the Minister for Social welfare MS. Meira Kumar in Delhi.

Once Satwik was asked why he doesn't speak? He typed out 'I will when the time comes'.

When asked what he wants to become when he grows up he typed 'Einstein'.

Best description of India!

2008-08-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

You can't get a better taste of India than this!

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Sakura flowers in Japan

2008-08-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's sakura - cherry blossom time in Japan.It makes great viewing.

Lesson to learn - Dog with just two legs

2008-06-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

He gets warm welcome everywhere....

He gets a pat on his shoulder...

The doors are open for only those who believe in themselves and Will Power which can make an animal walk on TWO LEGS...!!

Let's grow Bananas!

2008-06-21T22:36:00.000-07:00

Have you seen anything like this?

Triumph over Numbing Adversity

2008-05-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

A real story which appeared recently in Mysore Mail and Churumuri, is reproduced here.

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Three year-old Suma( all names changed) ran along laughing the pathway in Glass House of Lal bagh. Her eyes glistened as she chased the butterflies swirling in the morning sun.
Sudhir and Sushila had gone for a picnic to Lalbagh before Sudhir would sail again as an officer in the Merchant Navy.
That night Suma fell ill. Probably the early morning breeze, thought Sushila, but her temperature wouldn’t come down. Suma kept rubbing her eyes as she felt itchy.
Next day they took her to Agarwal Eye Hospital. Within an hour, the doctors diagnosed it as Retino Blastoma - cancer of the eye and they will have to remove the left eye.
Is this really happening to us wondered Sushila as she went in to the ward to see Suma’s face swathed in bandage. They also suggested that if possible Suma should be taken abroad immediately for treatment so that the infection doesn’t spread to the other eye. An Opthalmic Research Institute in Frankfurt was doing pioneering research on preventive aspects of infection. After hectic calls to her cousin Vimala in Germany, the family boarded the flight to Frankfurt.
Suma was ‘just in time’ was the opinion of doctors who made sure the infection wouldn’t spread. But a day prior to their departure to Bombay, tragedy struck again; Suma’s surviving eye became itchy and doctors asked Sudhir and Sushila to sign the papers to remove her right eye. They also removed the optical nerve to save the child’s life.
A gale had hit a small boat sailing in serene waters. In just two weeks, life had turned topsy-turvy. Their daughter Suma- light of their eye - born normal had turned blind in front of their eyes.

***
The initial years were hellish for Sushila. With Sudhir away for long periods, she had to combat the terrible fate that had befallen them. A bright, chirpy Suma had turned into a lifeless object staring into dark vacant space.
Coming out of self-pity, Sushila decided to face the world with all the courage she could muster. She was determined not to send Suma to a blind school. She got her admitted to Mahila Seva Samaja. ‘We will make her grow as normal as possible’ she would tell Sudhir who marveled at his wife’s fighting spirit.
Suma turned out to be bright, for she could grasp lessons quickly. Sushila would tell her stories, made her repeat the same. Radio became her friend initially and later, a passion. She would listen to most of the BBC programs for hours and learnt to differentiate the newsreaders thorough their voice.
The plight of blind students taking public exam is really a nightmare. Sushila had to go all over the town to get ‘Writers’ who would write out the answer papers dictated by the blind student. There were times even with just couple of days to go before a Public Exam, they were frantically searching for writers.
Suma did her class X and got a first class in her B.Sc.
When she wanted to study Management, Sudhir wanted her to join Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumabi and stay at his Sister’s place. Suma showed a letter from a management school in Surrey, England which had given her an admission. ‘Please spend the money on my studies which you would have otherwise incurred on my marriage’, was her plea to her tearful parents.
Finally Suma went to England. For someone who had not stepped out of her house without an escort, she changed planes and landed at her college all by herself.
Her roommate was Maria, a West Indian. During a weekend break, she went to Frankfurt to meet her aunt, alone.
She called up BBC and reminisced about their earlier newscasters and mimicked their style of reading news. They were so delighted they called her over for tea and asked her to participate in a talk show.

***

Sudhir, having retired from service, often worried about Suma’s future. How she will find life here after studies are over, he wondered. In three months their daughter would be back. Then what?

***

When their TV conked out Suma and Maria called the TV repair service. A bright young man came and found some components had conked out. He brought the parts, made the set alright and the girls thankful invited him to have their afternoon tea with them. Next day he came again and serviced their radio set free of charge. John Beachcom ran a modest business of an electronic repair service in and around Surrey.
The girls once invited him for lunch at the canteen but decided to cook in their room itself. John joined them in cooking and it turned out he was a better cook than the girls!
The girls graduated with first class and celebrated with John joining them.
When John proposed to Suma that evening, she was speechless. Maria, to whom John had earlier confided his liking for Suma, urged her to consider his proposal. Suma wanted John to talk to Sushila and Sudhir and take their approval first.

Suma bade goodbye to Maria, John and England came back to Bangalore alone.

***
The marriage took place in Jayanagar. John’s mother Michelle, his aunt Clara and Maria came with John sporting a Mysore peta at the brief wedding ceremony.

***
For sometime Suma worked in a Management firm in Surrey, with a guide dog - a golden retriever accompanying her. Now Suma and John have two children, both boys, Shankar and Chris. Sudhir and Sushila visited them and spend some time in their new house. John has expanded his business into computers. The family came to Mysore for a brief visit last year. As the kids created havoc at the Childrens’ corner at Cheluvamba Park, I could see the mother smile through her eyes.
…………..

Emoting with frozen mind amidst dance of destiny

2008-05-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

This is true story of my friends Shyam and Madhu ( Names changed).This appeared in Mysore Mail and Churumuri recently.

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Shyam and Madhu (Names changed) were our neighbours in Delhi. After doing Ph.D. in Civil Engineering in IIT Delhi, Shyam became a Reader there. Like most bachelors, he too went home hometown and got married to a beautiful Mysore girl. Madhu was an Arts graduate from Manasagangotri but it was her singing and dances that captivated people.
Often Shyam worried about his elder sister Jaya, who had remained a spinster. Shyam’s father had once taken her horoscope to a Shastrigalu who after some calculations predicted that there was some ‘dosha’ in her horoscope, which could result in her husband’s death soon after her marriage. May be the word got around among alliance seekers or Jaya’s higher qualification of Masters in literature came in the way, whatever it is, marriage days bypassed her.
Around that time, Shyam’s brother once brought his friend Shekar to their home in Bangalore. Shekar , a rank student throughout was in Indian Foreign Services after topping in IAS exam. Despite efforts by his mother Shekar had remained a bachelor and was just not interested in marriage. He was a hobby- freak and was a voracious reader.
Since he was waiting for a posting, he visited Jaya’s house often and they would discuss literature and writers. In one such meeting, Shekar learnt the underlying reason why Jaya wasn’t married.
That night Shekar couldn’t sleep and thought long and hard. After the death of his parents, he had become sort of a loner. He felt the need of a companion for the first time in his life.
Next day when he met Jaya, he proposed to her. He was quite candid, ‘I had decided to remain a bachelor. Ever since we met, I have been thinking it over. I like you; if you also like me, let me know.’ ‘I like you too. But I am afraid of losing you’ said Jaya. Shekar convinced her saying, ‘These things are not in our hands’.

They were married soon after at a simple ceremony in Bangalore.
The happy couple came to Delhi. He got a posting in Washington in Indian Embassy. Shekar went through a very stringent medical checkup. He spent two days in AIIMS for tests and was given a clean chit. They gave us parties for their marriage and foreign posting. After a couple of days, Shekar and Jaya took a flight to New York enroute to Washington.
***
The Karnataka Sangha in Delhi IIT planned to celebrate ‘Nada Habba’ for the Rajyothsava day. A cultural programme with a dinner from a Karol Bagh caterer was on the menu.
Quite a few non-IIT Kannadigas of Delhi were also usually invited to participate in their functions.The rehearsals went on for a week. Shyam was the hero in a Kannada play. Madhu practiced for her Bharatha Natyam dance. I joined the group singing folk songs and took up prompting during the play.
In the play there was a sentence: ‘ Avaru yarigu helade heege hortu hodare namma gathi yenu ?’(‘What about us if he disappears just like that?’). Quite often Shyam would miss this line and I used to prompt him from the side wing.
Since the programme was on a working day, none of us could meet during the day. We all met just before the programme at the IIT auditorium. After invocation, our Group sang the Kannada folk songs. Then followed Madhu’s dance in which she also danced ‘Krishna nee begane baro’. It was a moving performance from her.
During the play as I was prompting came the lines, Shyam was most likely to forget. The lines this time came easily to him, though I thought there was a tear in the corner of his eye when he asked, ‘ Avaru yarigu helade heege hortu hodare namma gathi yenu?’
Just as the play ended, Shyam and Madhu left the Green Room in hurry to a waiting taxi.
Before they left, Shyam told us Shekar had died of a massive heart attack the previous night.
The attack had come on the day he had joined duty in Washington. Jaya was bringing the body to Bangalore.
Destiny had played a waiting game and had hit when Jaya’s cup of joy was full.
The dreadful call had come early in the morning. Keeping their frozen tears amidst burning embers in their hearts, they had sung, danced and played their roles to perfection.

Rank amateurs had risen to their highest level in life and followed the dictum, ‘The Show must go on’.

Madhu’s plea, during ‘Krishna nee begane baro’ dance as well as the tear drop in the corner of Shyam’s eye during the play was real.

……

The cutting remark that changed course of his life

2008-04-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

A true story which appeared recently in Mysore mail and churumuri blog is about my friend Subbanna.

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When Subbanna (name changed) came out of Victoria Terminus in Bombay, he was amazed at the tall match-box like buildings. How people managed to live in such heights, he wondered. His friend Anantha from his hometown Udipi received him at the Railway Station.
Anantha worked as a cook in the mess run by Mysore Association, Matunga. Conceived and set up as a home away from home for people from Mysore State, this place was a meeting place mainly for bachelors who gathered regularly for the indoor sports facilities there.
Subbanna got a job as a cleaner in the mess. His job was to wash plates and cups and generally keep the place tidy.
Since my brother and I needed somebody to look after our bachelor digs, Subbanna started working for us. Gradually, he became, sort of Jeeves for us.
One day, when I entered the dining hall, there was some commotion. Subbanna had started serving the diners, when Bhattaru - the chief cook, grabbed the vessel from him saying, ‘Ninna Kelasa Enjalu Ele Ethhuvudu. Mareebeda!’ (‘Don’t forget, you are here only to wash plates!’)
A hurt and visibly shaken, Subbanna dashed out. It turned out, since one of the regular servers was absent, Subbanna had taken a vessel on his own and started serving. Others chided Bhattru for raising an unnecessary ruckus.
A week later, one of the members at the cards table flourished a visiting card and told the workers; ‘instead of wasting time in the daytime, go and find out what they have for you. They want to hire some people’.
Subbanna, Anantha and Venkatesha went to the Nariman Point address given in the card. A skyscraper was coming up and the supervisor of an elevator company wanted to hire temporary hands to lift heavy machinery. After two days, Anantha and Venkatesha dropped out. Though a weakling, Subbanna persisted. He befriended the installation mechanic who showed him how the parts are assembled, wired and finally put to test.
After washing the plates he would run to Ram Mandira in Matunga, where his electrician friend from Udipi would explain the drawing and how lifts worked. The friend would use a chalk to draw the circuit diagram on the granite floor of the temple and explain the intricacies.
Subbanna‘s life became a daily mantra of: ‘Lifts- understand the mechanism and circuitry - wash plates - study line drawing on the Rama Mandira floor’.
Once, he showed me a book in which he had neatly drawn the various parts of a lift and the diagrams with short notes in Kannada and English along the margin! Gradually he became good in his work.
Soon after, I was transferred to Delhi. I heard from my friend that Subbanna was selected by Otis Company for their operations in Doha, Qatar. He was part of their installation team. I gradually lost touch with him…..
***
When I came back to Bombay after five years, he landed at our house one morning laden with gifts. Since I used to listen to old Hindi songs in Vividh Bharathi, he brought me some twenty cassettes of Saigal, Pankaj Mullick and Jagmohan and a musical photo album. He was now the supervisor of Otis Installation team in Doha.
In the evening he went to the Mysore Association with gifts to all his colleagues.
To Bhattru, the chief cook, he gave the best gift of all, a silk shirt and a dhothi.
He called me aside and asked if we can have coffee together outside. We went to the nearby Mysore café.
I could see he was happy and confident. He reminisced about the sheikhs in Doha who had installed lift- cages made of gold to transport eats from their kitchen to bedroom!
Then I asked him for the first time what happened when he fought with Bhattru.
Subbanna said slowly, ‘To be told I was fit for only cleaning plates (‘Enjalu Ele Etthuvava’) in front of all my colleagues was very humiliating. I never thought somebody would demean me because I washed plates. The hurt inside wouldn’t go no matter what I did. I never ate in the mess from that evening. I continued to work for I needed to send money home. The pain all over my body carrying the elevator parts, to some extent, helped me forget the inner pain and I could get some sleep. Thank god! Had I cried, Bhattru might have allowed me to serve and life would have gone on. In the state of humiliation and anger that enveloped me I stumbled upon the Otis opportunity. The work in Otis was the balm I needed’.
***
Subbanna returned to Bombay when the Kuwait war broke out. He set up his own company which takes Annual Maintenance Contracts (AMC) for maintenance of lifts of high raise buildings. Subbanna and Shantha have a daughter who is a B.Com and doing her C.A. Their son is studying in PUC.

…………..

The caged bird breaks away......

2008-04-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

(A true story , this appeared recently in the Eveninger Mysore Mail and Blog Churumuri.Would like to share with Mysore Blog park Readers....)

ERR.

Little Champa (Name Changed) was still sleepy when her mother Shashi woke her up at 4.30 in the morning. ‘Get up. We have a train to catch’. Shahsi quickly realised her two year old daughter couldn’t have heard any thing as she was born with congenital hard of hearing. As the Thanjavur Express left Bangalore for Mysore, Shashi fed Champa milk and made her sleep. They were on the way to their teacher for her lessons. At Srirangapatna, she woke Champa and asked her to repeat what the teacher had taught the previous day,. ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa’, ‘Eeeeeeeee’, ‘Ooooooooo.’ Since the receiver of hearing aid had come off from the child’s ears, she didn’t respond. After Sridhar, her father put it back in her ears, she started repeating… ‘Aaaaaaa’ ‘Eeeeee’ ‘Ooooo’. The home work was done on train.

When Champa didn’t respond to any sound soon after her birth, Sridhar and Shruthi’s worst fears turned true. Their daughter was born deaf and dumb. Repeated visits to temples did not help. Finally somebody suggested a teacher, who was teaching hearing impaired children from the age of 18 months. With a hearing aid and two receivers, Champa learnt to listen to everyday sound which is normally taken for granted. The vowel sounds on the train was the first reproduction of sounds for Champa.

Since the teacher moved over to Mysore from Bangalore, they were taking Champa daily to Mysore and come back by the evening train. To and Fro visits to Mysore 5 days in a week became hectic for them and little Champa too. The family decided to move to Mysore close to the teacher’s house. Shruthi’s mother came to stay with her. Sridhar would come on Saturday to take them to Bangalore.

Babbling to simple words; recognition of objects; picking an object after listening, Matching the object with the sketch after naming the object. Champa was put on a drill by the teacher. Every syllable, word had to be vocalized.

Much, much later the alphabets in Kannada were started. Kannada alphabets for Champa whose parents spoke Tamil! And counting - One, Two, and Three… up to Hundred, each had to be pronounced loudly and then only written. Champa graduated from counting on fingers to writing on slate and finally on paper with pencil.

‘Stay Ahead’ was the Mantra of the teacher. We have to make her stay ahead of others. ‘Acceptance and recognition for physically challenged will only come from sheer merit. Especially when they score over in competition with normal people’ was the teacher’s philosophy.

Time flew as little Champa learnt basic Maths, sentences in Kannada and could talk haltingly. Still, fluent speech was a problem.

When Sridhar and Shruthi visited various schools for admission in Bangalore, one look at the child wearing hearing aid with cord dangling from her ears was enough for rejection.

Finally one school agreed to give her an opportunity. ‘Only six months’ told the Head Mistress, ‘ If we find her lagging behind we will terminate any time’.

School with new clothes, shining bag, Tiffin carrier and water bottle instead of bringing joy was hell for Champa. Bullies at that age, ripped off her hearing aid, put mud on it and threw it away. The child couldn’t learn much from her unhelpful teacher. Their class teacher often openly told ‘I will recommend you to a deaf and Dumb school.’

Sridha and shruthi were at their wits end. Have their efforts failed? Has it all come to nothing?

Then the school had the first semester exams in Kannada and Maths.

The class teacher returned the corrected papers to all students. Champa did not get anything. Instead she was asked to bring her parents next day to meet the Head Mistress.

With palpitating hearts, fearing the worst, they ran to school.

The Head Mistress asked them to wait as she finished her other chores. Then she took them to Champa’s class. It was Parents-teachers’ meeting that day.

The head Mistress lifted Champa on her shoulders and announced that Champa had stood first in the class, in both Maths and Kannada.

She proudly announced that this was the first time they had decided to admit a hearing challenged child and she had stood first in the class. The school will continue with this policy every year. The parents assembled, gave a standing ovation to Champa and her parents. Quite a few children came and stood around champa, clapping.

There was an unfinished task to be completed. Later, the parents, controlling the tears talked to Champa’s teacher in Mysore over phone. Their combined efforts and faith had made the impossible, possible.

…………………

Photograph of Bird , from Flickr -Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Firefox

The Healing Touch

2008-02-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

Dr. Mitra (Name changed) was a rare doctor in Delhi who most of times never behaved like one.

I was once treated by a doctor who was a ‘Gold Medalist’ which was written after her name in the sign board. First I was treated for malaria, which on its own or due to doctor’s medicine soon turned to typhoid. After two weeks of various medicines and briefly visiting Gastro-enteritis, Pneumonia, along the way, both the doctor and the patient were nearing their edge of knowledge bank and existence respectively. The reputation of gold medal was fast turning into silver and bronze..

It was around that time, somebody asked me to see Dr. Mitra.

As I staggered into his clinic amidst other patients when my name was called, I found a youngish sort of man smoking in between large helpings of Elaichi and diamond sugar bits.

Before my wife could finish my case history, he beckoned me to come out in the open and I followed him. Amidst all other patients waiting to see him, he asked me to gaze at sunlight first and follow his fingers which kept moving sideways. He quickly went back to his room.

As we ran after him, he pronounced: ‘Its jaundice. Throw away all the medicines. Bed rest for two weeks; only pathli dhal and double cooked kichdi. Next!’

We settled his bill and came out. How right he was!

Dr. Mitra soon became our ‘family’ doctor and gradually, a friend.

Once I went to him with heavy cold and sour throat, he said, between puffs: ‘Salt water gargle thrice a day with this medicine and no smoking till this stops!’ I asked him, ‘How come you are smoking doctor?! ’Quick came the repartee, ‘Who is having problem? You or me?’

He would invariably ask ‘who is sick now?’ whenever my wife and I would visit him.

Once, when we were near his clinic, we felt like saying hello to him. We waited for our turn and when he asked who is sick now, we told him we just walked in to say hello. He laughed heartily, ‘looks like both of you are sick this time!’ When we invited him to come for dinner the following Saturday with his wife, he was surprised but agreed. He came in a suit with his wife, had a beer before dinner and gave beautiful exposition of various architecture of Delhi heritage buildings! Otherwise laconic, he could talk of cricket for hours keeping the syringe in his hand much to the relief of patient!

Once when we met him at a party, he was holding forth on Emergency that was clamped then, around a motley crowd gathered around him. When I asked him, ‘Long time, No see Dr. Mitra’, he shouted back, ‘It’s fine. Keep it that way!’

While he was examining a patient, a persistent call from a big wig irked him no end.
‘Listen! I can’t drop my patients and come to see you. Just hop in to your car and come over. I will see you as soon as you are here. You won’t die! I will take the responsibility, if anything happens on the way.’

After a couple of years, I visited Dr. Mitra with my colleague, who had two children and the elder of the two was mentally challenged. The family was going through tough times, unable to come to terms with the situation. Dr. Mitra asked me to bring them home.

After spending some time with the family, he asked his wife to take care of the family while he sat with my friend and me.

He said. ‘Vijay, don’t feel bad if one of your children is mentally challenged. There is nothing you could have done about his birth. These are God’s way of testing us. You can do one of the two things. Go and leave the elder child quietly somewhere in a forest and come back. Your problems due to the elder one will disappear for ever. Your second son will grow normally and will do well. The other thing you can do is to accept the reality and bring them up. Dono, dilpe pathhar rakh kar karna hoga. May be one day the younger fellow will understand and he will protect his elder brother and will be a support to the entire family. You do your best and Bhagavan pe bharosa rakho. The choice is yours.’

The doctor refused any fee, my friend was happy that he met Dr. Mitra. The family went home a happier unit.

As I bid ‘bye to Doctor, I thanked him profusely for the encouragement he had given. Dr. Mitra just smiled and told me, ‘It’s nothing yaar. I am a doctor, na?’

As we passed a bedroom to go out, he showed his two children playing with a toy. The elder one was mentally challenged.

…………..
ERR

Very Eloquent -Tattoo of the year!

2008-01-21T04:52:00.000-08:00

Empower the Umpires!

2008-01-20T09:13:00.000-08:00

It was an incredible test match at Perth which went down to the wire. But what about umpiring?

Much has been said about biased umpiring from Steve Bucknor and Benson.

Now are we going to hang Asad Rauf for his decisions against Sachin Tendulkar and Dhoni? Should Aussies cry hoarse because of poor decisions against Symonds and Hussey in their second Innings?

What‘s the best solution to minimize the errors/ blunders/forcible decisions?

1. Do not differentiate between on-field umpires and Third Umpire. They should be made to work as a unit and as a rule they should consult as a group and give a decision. In a game of over 7 hours per day, there is no need to give an important decision in a few milliseconds or seconds! To expect that is preposterous considering they take more than 5 minutes for a drinks interval and more than a minute for a batsman to come to the crease and spend at least a minute to change ends and reset the field after each over.

2. In the interest of ‘correct’ decision, any umpire of the trio could disagree, especially the third umpire who has the benefit of technology, and in consultation of all the three, the decision should be handed over. All decisions should only be conveyed by the third Umpire thro’ ‘Out’ and ‘Not out’ displayed on the big screen.

3. If an Umpire misses a no ball, which the third umpire must always get, again, in the interest and correctness of the game he could intervene and reverse the decision. This would be very useful in situations when the batsman gets out (or given out) only to find the replay showing a no ball. The third umpire, after discussing with his colleagues can reverse a decision collectively.

4. The Third umpire should not be a ‘local’ umpire, but must be from the ICC elite panel of umpires. When we have, say, Aleem Dar, Billy Bowden and Simon Taufel as three umpires for a match there would be fewer mistakes.

5. In fact mistakes would be eliminated as you have ‘empowered’ the umpires by giving them the technology. They will be par with the ‘experts’ and the TV- spectators, as they watch the same video and take a decision. Now Umpires make their decisions in few milliseconds, and the experts watch it from all angles for around 15 minutes to condemn the umpires! The spectators watch that for days and make a decision whose effigies have to be burnt!

6 . The Prima donnas will feel the heat and cool down considerably. Decisions will be taken, without haste; if need be the Third umpire can come to the field with a hand held monitor and show to his colleagues and then take a ‘collective’ decision. No umpire will be vulnerable or a target of mob fury (This has happened for many years in West Indies!) as any decision is a result of combined thinking.

7. ICC can easily increase the panel of umpires as it is no more a matter of decision to be given in a tearing hurry by a great umpire. The team of umpires with expertise, experience and technology in hand will make a decision which will be far more accurate with facts and replays helping them in the decision.

8. The umpires can also wear microphones of military specs on them which will pick up whatever happens on the playing square. This will make lot of Australians ‘shut up’ and incidents like Symonds- Harbhajan’ will be a thing of the past.

When every new technology eventually becomes part of life making it easier why technology should be not given to the umpires which could help them to take correct decisions? With increasing commercialization , wrong decisions during critical stage of a match can indeed take the game away which is neither good for the sides playing the game, nor for the game and finally not for the paying spectator.

Even the Great Don Bradman blamed Darell Hair for starting a ‘distasteful’ controversy over bowling action of Muthiah Muralidharan in 1995-1996. Bradman wrote, ‘It was technically impossible for Umpire Hair to call from the Bowler’s end even once’. Bradman continued, ‘I believe Hair’s action – in one over- took the development of world cricket back by ten years’.

We are at a similar doorstep now.

It’s time technology plays an important role in modern cricket to help the umpires rather than watch the playback in slow motion to ridicule and hang them.

……………..

E.R. Ramachandran 20 January, ‘08

Topiary-Art of carving out 'green 'images

2008-01-06T03:43:00.000-08:00

Can we not create 'Green Buddha' and 'Tears of Petals' in some of our Gardens in Bangalore and Mysore? Isn't it better to pay homage in green than erect statue in Stone and Cement concrete?The art of Topiary - to carve out images out of hedges and plants will serve as an environmentally appropriate tribute to our past leaders.The above green sculptures are by German Artist Malanders in a park In Germany.

ERR

6, Jannuary, '08

Bradman's 23-ball 100!

2007-12-30T22:27:00.000-08:00

The big hitters of the game like Yuvraj singh and Gibbs scored like crazy in 2007 in the first ever twenty 20 World Cup.But is there anything to beat the Original Master, who did a 23 ball 100 on 3rd November, 1931? Don Bradman, while playing for Blackheath against Lithgow, Australia scored 256 runs clobbering 14 Sixers and 29 Fours!But the real beauty is he scored 100 in less than 3 Australian overs! (Earlier, they used to play 8 ball overs in Australia). His partner Wenden Bill also played couple of balls in the third over! Wenden scored 68.The sequence of scoring is given below.

1st over; 6,6,4,2,4,4,6,1.
2nd over; 6,4,4,6,6,4,6,4.
3rd over: 1,6,6,1,1,4,4,6.

To think this was done in an era of uncovered pitches when batsmen were not covered like Egyptian mummies from head- to - toe - with helmets, extra padding from Ribs downwards and hand guards right up to the bat handle! Can anybody ever beat this record?
----------------

E.R. Ramachandran
December 31, 2007

The Christmas Gift

2007-12-19T22:31:00.000-08:00

A short story of mine was published in Deccan Herald last Christmas; would like to share it with MBP readers. Merry X-mas to all. - ERR

As the train sped towards Vasco, from Mumbai, John’s mind raced back… My God! Fourteen years in a jail. At Fifty I am almost old! Will Bessy and Michael recognize me? Michael, then was just a baby. Bessy…the look she gave, before he was hauled to the Solitary Jail, said it all. It had haunted him… God, why did you do this to us? They were poor, no doubt, but worked hard to secure the future of Michael. When they were hoping for better times, fate had given them a knockout punch…

As he looked at the moonless cold night, his mind went back to that fateful night. After a busy day in the fields, they were tired and getting ready to bed, when his buddies came home. Bessy was angry, as she knew John would go with them and return fully drunk. Since it was the Christmas week, the guys wanted to go and have a drink. Little he realized that the outing would change their lives forever…

While returning home, he had got into a heated argument with Billy, the big Bully. Billy had made snide remarks throughout the evening, which he had ignored. But when he said something about Bessy, that was it. In a fit of drunken rage, he had leapt at Billy’s throat and suddenly, Billy’s face had turned blue with his tongue out.

The Judge had ordered John to be hanged, but surprisingly, Mary, Billy’s mother had asked the Judge to change it to life Imprisonment. She was keen that John should die a slow death in jail and that’s the punishment she wanted for her son’s killer.

In the beginning, Bessy used to come with Michael, stare silently and go back. But that stopped after sometime. He had not received any communication from the outside world. But every Christmas, there was a parcel for him - a pair of knitted mittens and a fruit cake - without any letter. Gradually, he had lost the count of years too….

The train reached Vasco at midnight. He felt weak as he started walking towards his village. Nothing had changed in the village. A few who were out didn’t recognize him.

As he neared his hut, his pulse raced. His head was spinning. Michael must have become a young man and will Bessy forgive him now…

When he entered, he saw an old shrunken woman sitting in a corner against the light of a lantern. As John went close to her, she held out a Cake and a pair of Mittens and stoked his head. He realized it was Christmas Night…

Next to her, was a photograph of young Michael and Bessy. As his eyes met her tearful eyes, she nodded and caressed his head. Bessy and Michael were no more.

Slowly, It dawned on him. It was Mary, Billy’s mother who was sending the Gift to him every Christmas.

……………………….
ERR

Please read before seeing the picture- It's worth it!

2007-12-05T22:01:00.000-08:00

A picture began circulating in November. It should be "The Picture of the Year," or perhaps, "Picture of the Decade." It won't be. In fact, unless you obtained a copy of the US paper which published it, you probably would never have seen it.The picture is that of a 21-week-old unborn baby named Samuel Alexander Armas, who is being operated on by surgeon named Joseph Bruner. The baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and would not survive ifremoved from his mother's womb. Little Samuel's mother, Julie Armas, is an obstetrics nurse in Atlanta . She knew of Dr. Bruner's remarkable surgical procedure. Practicing at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, he performs these special operations while the baby is still in the womb.During the procedure, the doctor removes the uterus via C-section and makes a small incision to operate on the baby. As Dr. Bruner completed the surgery on Samuel, the little guy reached his tiny, but fully developed hand through the incision and firmly grasped the surgeon's finger. Dr. Bruner was reported as saying that when his finger was grasped, it was the most emotional moment of his life, and that for an instant during the procedure he was just frozen, totally immobile.The photograph captures this amazing event with perfect clarity The editors titled the picture, "Hand of Hope." The text explaining thepicture begins, "The tin y hand of 21-week- old fetus Samuel Alexander Armas emerges from the mother's uterus to grasp the finger of Dr. Joseph Bruner as if thanking the doctor for the gift of life." Little Samuel's mother said they "wept for days" when they saw the picture. She said, "The photo reminds us pregnancy isn't about disability or an illness, it's about a little person." Samuel was born in perfect health, the operation 100 percentsuccessful.Now see the actual picture, and it is awesome...incredible....and hey,pass it on. The world needs to see this one!

A Moving Poignancy

2007-11-21T04:00:00.000-08:00

The BTS City Buses made their appearance in Bangalore only in the Mid Fifties. Till that time, the only mode of transport for common man was walking, called -Nataraja Service and Jataka Gaadi, a cart driven by horse power. Most of State Govt. employees would walk it out to Taluk office and Atahara Katcheri with Mysore Peta on their heads and wearing their marriage coat over Kachhe Panche! Few people rode cycles and fewer who wore Kachhes, because of the fear of unfolding risk! Auto Rickshaw, the word as well as the contraption was yet to make its appearance.

My mother and I used to take a Jataka to get our dog Raju treated at the Government veterinary Hospital in Mysore Road. Since Raju had bruised his leg, the wound had to be dressed on alternate days till it healed. We would start our journey at 10 in the morning in Aslam’s Jataka from Uttaradhi Mutt Road, Shankarapuram and his horse Mehboob would gallop to the hospital in about 15 minutes. We would sit on a gunny cloth spread over Mehboob’s lunch- tender grass spread along the cart’s area. Aslam would ask us to sit further up all the time as he hurrahed Mehboob with his whip to run faster meanwhile shouting at the pedestrians and cyclists to make way for his Chariot!

This became a routine every alternate day for a week. After coming back from the Hospital, I would feed some fresh grass to Mehboob as some kind of thanksgiving. Gradually, Raju’s leg started healing.

In one of the visits, as we were approaching Mysore Road, a BTS bus stopped in front of the cart right on the middle of the road. As the driver leapt out of the bus, Mehboob groaned. The tearful driver embraced Mehboob, who started licking his hands. Wiping his tears away, the driver took out some fresh grass and fed it to Mehboob and jumped back in to the driver’s seat and drove off.

We were as stunned as must have been the passengers in the bus and the bystanders.

As we resumed our journey, Aslam explained; In order to raise whatever he could get for treatment of his polio-stricken child, the bus driver had to sell off his Jataka business. From then on, whenever he met Mehboob in the traffic, he would jump off the bus to hug his Beta , invariably with tears, as he did now.
…………… 20 November’07

Death on a Train

2007-10-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

The train from Mysore towards Bangalore left at 6:45 on 28th October, last Sunday morning, like any other day. Being Sunday, it was less crowded, the passengers comprising mostly middle-aged and elderly and a small group of traders discussing the zooming sensex.After sometime a sense of ennui, sleepiness took over the train amidst vendor’s shout of coffee and tea.

Just before the train reached Mandya, there was some commotion from passengers, two bogies away. Soon after, the Ticket collector came enquiring whether there is a doctor in the train to attend to a passenger who had become unconscious.

As the train steamed into Mandya some passengers informed Mandya Railway police who in turn asked the Engine driver to hold the train .By that time the whistle had been blown from the Guard, and the driver started the train informing the police that Maddur was only 10 Minutes away.

Meanwhile some of us rushed to the aid of patient, but we could not find his pulse. He had collapsed to the side from his sitting position. He was in the Fifties, probably going to work protected with a jerkin over a full sleeves shirt and Pant. When all efforts to wake him up including sprinkling water failed, we started administering Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation (CPR), by blowing in to his mouth after closing his nostrils. Even repeated, frantic efforts of CPR had no effect on him. The stitch mark from the middle of his chest down indicated, he might have been a heart patient who had undergone surgery. Somebody fished out a tablet strip from his pocket and, as advised by a doctor who was giving instructions on the mobile, we pushed the medicine too. Somebody took out a small book from his pocket with telephone Numbers.

The seemingly longest journey ever that I traveled, of 12 minutes ended as the train steamed in to Maddur. People lifted him and carried to the stone bench at the station. Somebody carried his bag along. Even basic medical facility was not available at Maddur Station, an important junction between Bangalore and Mysore. The Railway Minister never tires of lecturing all over the world how he was instrumental in turning around Indian Railways that netted over RS. 20000 Crores.

It took another 10 minutes to get a stretcher – a stinking dirty leather sheet with two wooden handle at both ends.

Amidst the tearing hurry needed to save a life, life was proceeding at snail’s pace.

Finally he was carried over the rail bridge and our train left for Bangalore with passengers angry, silent and crying.

By that time ,the identity of the passenger was established. Hold your breath. He was a senior Section Engineer (Electrical) working at Railway Workshop in Mysore!

For one who had probably spent most of his working life on a train, the train did not stop for him when it mattered most. The T.C. felt terrible as the train was not stopped by his colleague and a crucial time of 10 minutes was lost. We were left with the thought ‘what might have been’.

As we reached Chennapatna, the T.C. phoned Maddur and found out ,the passenger whom we had all accompanied from Mysore was brought there ‘dead on arrival’.

We all reached Bangalore without our co- passenger for whom the Final Station had come at Maddur itself.

……………

Kind of ads that come to our living rooms.

2007-10-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

Quiet a few of you would have seen this ad of Akshay Kumar doing great stunts jumping from a building and landing pefectly on his feet and flicking a Thums bottle from a speeding truck. When the lady asks' Akhri thums up?' he asks 'Woh kys hota hai'? This ad comes during cricket matches when they get maximum viewership ,particularly schoolgoing kids and adolescents.I thought this ad was not in good taste on two counts. 1.Kids and others too may try flicking a cold -drink botle from a speeding delivery truck as an act of bravado. This is dangerous, even for Akshay Kumar! 2. It teaches viewers 'it's ok , if you flick ( steal) and not pay for it. Surely Akshay Kumar himself would not like his chidren or his fans to grow up like that.Why are then such ads been plugged by our stars which are on the air day in and day out?

I took up the matter with Advertising Standards Coucil of India (asci).I was asked to write a complaint and email to their ID as well as send a hard copy (thankfully not in triplicate!) by snail mail. Finally after followup for about 6 months, asci has written to me that they discused with the agency as well as the product Group and it was brought to their attention that the ad was offensive and should be taken off the air or modified.The promoters have agred for the same, it seems.That's what the letter says.
I am not sure , though. I will wait and watch.

There is one more ad which is doing the rounds these days .Bajaj pulsar 200 motorbike which is being shown in the present India- Australia one- day series. What kind of ads are being shown when young boys are mown over by State transport buses and petrol tankers on our highways and potholed dirttracks whch are an apology to the word 'road'?

The pulsar ad shows there is a traffic jam in a narrow road. No problem! Our 'Hero' first takes it on a footpath and,because he is riding the pulsar, rides over a lorry and finally flies off from the parapet of a building and lands perfectly on the road sitting on the Pulsar, no doubt!

We are not talking about a fantasy movie here, but a real motorbike being sold in the market and the ad looks like a test drive! When the Traffic and Police are worried sick how to get the accident rate down, out comes this ad.

Is this ad ok? What do you think? Should this be brought to the notice of asci?

One Paragraph that explains Life

2007-09-13T21:35:00.001-07:00

I came across this illumunating piece and would like to share it with MBP Readers.

- ERR

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed :

"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 5 crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?". And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u Glowing,
But only God Keeps u Going.....
Keep Going.....

The Art of Resilience - Hara Estroff Marano

2007-09-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

I would like to share a nice article on Resilience by Hara Estroff Maran

- ERR

The Art of Resilience - Hara Estroff Marano(Summary: Research on resilience breaks down the myth that a troubled childhood leaves us emotionally crippled as an adult).
Think you are a prisoner of a troubled childhood?Think again. You need not go through the rest of your life as an emotional cripple. It is possible to bounce back from adversity and go on to live a healthy, fulfilling life. In fact, more people do it than you may think.Resilience may be an art, the ultimate art of living, but is has recently been subjected to the scrutiny of science. This much is known so far. At the heart of resilience is a belief in oneself - yet also a belief in something larger than oneself.Resilient people do not let adversity define them. They find resilience by moving towards a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain and grief by perceiving bad times as a temporary state of affairs.Experts argue among themselves about how much of resilience is genetic. People do seem to differ in their inborn ability to handle life's stresses. But resilience can also be cultivated. It's possible to strengthen your inner self and your belief in yourself, to define yourself as capable and competent. It's possible to fortify your psyche. It's possible to develop a sense of mastery. And it's definitely necessary to go back and reinterpret past events to find the strengths you have probably had within all along. Some evidence shows that it's not really until adulthood that people begin to surmount the difficulties of childhood and to rebuild their lives.One problem is, there are elements of our culture that glorify frailty, says Washington.D.C. psychiatrist Steven Wolin, M.D. There is a whole industry that would turn you into a victim by having you dwell on the traumas in your life. In reality you have considerable capacity for strength, although you might not be wholly aware of it. Sometimes it is easier to be a victim; talking about how other people make you do what you do removes the obligation to change. And sympathy can feel sweet; talk of resilience can make some feel that no one is really appreciating exactly how much they have suffered.Wolin defines resiliency as the capacity to rise above adversity -- sometimes the terrible adversity of outright violence, molestation or war -and forge lasting strengths in the struggle. It is the means by which children of troubled families are not immobilized by hardship but rebound from it, learn to protect themselves and emerge as strong adults, able to lead gratifying lives.Resilient people don't walk between the raindrops; they have scars to show for their experience. They struggle -- but keep functioning anyway. Resilience is not the ability to escape unharmed. It is not about magic.Most people mistakenly operate on what Wolin calls "the damage model," a false belief about the way disease is transmitted. It basically says that if your family is having trouble, the chances are high that you will suffer lasting emotional disturbances. It's a prophecy of doom.Wolin offers survivors of troubled families a more balanced perspective about their past, based on 20 years of his own research on adult children of alcoholics. Most of them, he has found, do not repeat their parents' drinking patterns. The same is true of adults who have survived families troubled by mental illness, chronic marital disputes, racial discrimination and poverty.The ground-breaking resilience research of sociologist Emmy Werner, Ph.D., of the University of California, showed that even at the time about a third of kids never seemed to be affected by the grinding poverty, alcoholism and abuse in the homes they grew up in. Of the remaining two-thirds, many were troubled as teens, typically turning to petty crime. But by the time they reached their 30s and 40s, they had pulled themselves together, determined to not repeat their parents' lives.A troubled family can indeed inflict considerable harm on its children, but resilient people are challenged by such troubles to experiment and respond actively and creatively. Their pre-emptive responses to adversity, repeated over time, become incorporated into their inner selves as lasting strengths.To the degree that it is learned, resilience seems to develop out of the challenge to maintain self-esteem. Troubled families make their children feel powerless and bad about themselves. Resilience is the capacity for a person to maintain self-esteem despite the powerful influence of the parents. It is also possible to be hurt and to rebound at the same time. We human beings are complex enough psychologically to accommodate the two. What the resilient do is refrain from blaming themselves for what has gone wrong. In the language of psychology, they externalize blame. And they internalize success; they take responsibility for what goes right in their lives.One way they do this, Wolin has found, is to maintain independence. Survivors draw boundaries between themselves and troubled parents; they keep their emotional distance while satisfying the demands of conscience. Resilient children often hang out with families of untroubled peers. As adults, the resilient children of alcoholics marry into stable, loving families with whom they spend a great deal of time.Survivors cultivate insight, the mental habit of asking themselves penetrating questions and giving honest answers. They also take the initiative. They take charge of problems, stretching and testing themselves. But they don't do all the work alone. One of the cardinal findings of resilience research is that those who lacked strong family support systems growing up sought and received help from others -- a teacher, a neighbour, the parents of peers or, eventually, a spouse. They were not afraid to talk about the hard times they were having to someone who cared for their well-being.Relationships foster resilience, Wolin contends. Resilient people do the active give-and take work necessary to derive emotional gratification from others. Reframing is at the heart of resilience. It is a way of shifting focus from the cup half empty to the cup half full. Wolin accords it a central role in "survivor's pride." He tells the story of a patient, a woman who felt helpless. She had been whipped by her father throughout childhood any time he felt challenged. Wolin instead encouraged her to see herself as smart, an accomplished strategist. She had eventually learned to recognize her father's moods and respond to them.There are lessons in her tale for everyone, Wolin insists. You re-examine your life story to see how heroic your acts were as a child. You go back to an incident, find the strengths,and build self-esteem from the achievement.Psychologist Edith Grotberg, Ph.D., believes that everyone needs reminders of the strengths they have. She urges people to cultivate resilience by thinking along three lines:* I HAVE: strong relationships, structure, rules at home, role models; these are external supports that are provided;* I AM: a person who has hope and faith, cares about others, is proud of myself; these are inner strengths that can be developed;* I CAN: communicate, solve problems, gauge the temperament of others, seek good relationships -- all interpersonal and problem-solving skills that are acquired.Visit my weblog http://www.indiafriends-in.blogspot.com for more articles. You may also give your autograph and contribute articles of interest, for a possible publication in my web-site.Regards,Rangarajan.

Trampled In Temple Road!

2007-08-26T01:57:00.000-07:00

The Temple Road, an important Road connecting Yadavagiri to Jayalaksmipuram via intersecting K.R.S. Road, is on the verge of becoming a Trample Road, especially for Pedestrians. May be quite a few roads in Mysore are like this. It’s worth having a look as to what happens here everyday.

The Road is a microcosm of life, as it were. The past and future meet here at the present…. It is a mini India with Venkataramanaswamy and Shiva Temples rubbing shoulders with I-Robots from New York , Sankalpa Builders, Shubam, Loyal World Super Market, Logrosoft and UTI & Centurian Banks. The Andal Manram is close to to Pizza Hut and Dominos (Half an hour late –Free Pizza!).

Housewives, senior citizens, school children use this stretch of road everyday from morning to night, mostly by walking.

The Road was wide enough and generally peaceful with stray and regular cattle with pigs sharing the avenue with pedestrians until recently, till, the Mysore City Corporation got a brainwave to convert into a ‘double Road’, without bothering about consequences.

The stretch of this road between Mahatma Gandhi circle and Mathru Mandali circle resembles a street twisted out of its bearings in Baghdad, due to American bombing of a bazaar and after effects of a suicide car- bombing at the very same place!

Now the road has a shoddy divider, with mud work spilling both sides of the road. The footpaths (Foodpaths!) continue to be haunted by 100% profit Idli- vada- dosa-Gobi Manchurian joints, Chinese, Thailand and Mongolian Food Carts (Mobile food Courts!). Operating under the aegis of Central Roadside Tiffin Food Research Institute (CRTFRI) under the patronage of Health Dept. of MCC, they can put the renowned CFTRI to shame! Daily lottery vendors with their ever-hopeful bakras, bent upon having their daily fix hoping to become a millionaire; Soppu, Elaneeru vendors, Buy- anything -you –want- for –Rs. 100 shop on the floor of footpath near Chescom office. It has also booksellers, Chavi repairer, god-knows-who-else…

The Road has a parking- lot for cars on one side, scooters on the other side, parking for cows on all sides in the middle of the road, pigs darting whenever they feel like! The footpath is occupied 24*7 hours by the above mentioned business houses and a small extension of Mysore Zoo!

It has bus shelters made for the convenience of chain snatchers, as the shelters are dark and dingy, due to which passengers wait on the Road; two Autorakshasa- Stands and car parking on one side with radial parking to ensure traffic is blocked / stopped as one takes a reverse, complete the picture.

There is a Dental clinic next to the MCC Bin, which stinks sky-high due to all kinds of waste muck thrown in. Fillings can come real dirt-cheap here for cavities!

One would like to know from the MLA, who recently put his name as one responsible for construction of the Bus stop next to post office, whether he has walked this street, of late? Ditto for MCC Commissioner and the Traffic Police Chief….

Are Roads meant for only cars, autorickshas, scooter and motorcycles , buses, Trucks, JCBs? What about footpaths for pedestrians? Should they allow themselves to be trampled by vehicles or tremble in constant fear of being run over?

IS THERE A FREE WALKABLE FOOTPATH ON TEMPLE ROAD??
WILL THESE GENTLEMEN WALK HERE AT 7 P.M. AND SHOW THE PUBLIC??

………………..

E.R. Ramachandran 25 August 2007

Government's Role as a protector of cherished Heritage...

2007-08-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

The proposed 1000 MW Thermal Power Plant at Chamalapura is supposed to alleviate the power shortage in Karnataka State. No doubt, there is acute power deficit in the State with respect to Demand and supply.

However, it is wise to keep the overall picture in perspective. Comparisons are made with Raichur with regard to the aftereffects stressing that the environmental effects would be minimal. However, the following facts may be noted.

Without comparing Raichur Thermal Project, an objective analysis of the adverse effect on taking up Chamalapura Thermal Project has been attempted. Despite whatever decision that has been taken we would urge the government to bestow urgent and serious attention to the issue on which NGOs, citizens and the farmers affected have protested vehemently. The following facts speak for themselves.
1. Hoary history of Mysore
Mysore has a magnificent history dating to early part of 5th century A.D. The spiritual, cultural heritage on one hand and the architectural and diversity of nature’s bounty in terms of forestry and the wild life surrounding the city on the other, makes Mysore one of the most sought-after tourists spots and is the backbone of thriving tourism Industry. The Dasara festival is a result of centuries of culture put together now. The environmental impact will affect tourism Industry in many ways apart from other disastrous results which are enumerated below.

2. Palaces and Heritage Buildings:

With an estimated emission of SO2 Of 180 Tons per day and NO2, 50 Tons per day, Solid Particulate Matter of 5 Tons per day, Ash of 6000 tons per day,CO2 7.5 Million tons per year and finally of 5000 tons of ash per day blowing across Mysore, the bounty of nature will vanish in just few years. To give an example, the engineering marvel of Palace structures has mainly lime stone and sand. The gases and dust will gradually corrode the surface,discolour the facade and weaken the structure. What elements did not do for centuries, the power plant will do it in few years. Finest of Electrostaic Precipitators cannot trap dust particle ( less than 65 microgram) which permeate and corrode all surfaces over a period of time. Are our Tourism Ministry experts and Secretary, Heritage commissioner and INTACH are convinced that nothing will happen to the august structures? Have the scion of the Wadiyars been consulted whose forefathers were the original builders of this great city?

3. Forestry and wildlife:

Mysore has all along been famous for its Khedda operation and now for wildlife Safari in Bandipur and Nagerhole Tiger sanctuaries. This is again the backbone of tourism Industry and the erstwhile rulers protected and nurtured this for centuries. Has the Government consulted its own experts in Forest Department and wild life experts, some of them world-renowned, for its impact of Thermal Plant? Should the Government fritter away centuries of a healthy and very rich environment, unmindful of fears of general public and not even consult experts who will stand faithful to their profession and give their considered opinion?

4. Human and aquatic life:

Apart from above harmful effects, the effect on human and birdlife cannot be minimized. Apart from exposure to these gases, they will get much worse in winter due to temperature inversion. There is no doubt large populace will be exposed to respiratory problems from air pollution due to coal dust and acid rain. There will be heavy impact on flora and fauna and the impact on soil will hit the agricultural crops. Why have the Government not consulted the Public health specialists and Agricultural Scientists on the Environmental Impact. Finally, mercury traces of radioactive minerals are already proved as forerunner of carcinogens leading to cancer. Why have the leading oncologists in the State not consulted before launching this project?

There is no doubt power is a real problem and efforts have to be made to enhance the same. But in our anxiety, to get over cold, we should not cut off the nose.

We have not once touched on the human problem of displacement of people which causes untold large-scale miseries. But do we have the right to erase history of a city running for centuries by hacking its rich spiritual, cultural, bountiful forests, wild life, rivers, agriculture without as much as a discussion of the experts in a myriad field who have spent lifetime studying the same.

If all of them agree in unison with the Government, it should go ahead with the project. The least any responsible Government, any responsive Government should do is call for such a meeting and take an unbiased overall view before taking a decision.

History will applaud a person, a Government for having the courage to listen to all aspects of a problem from the experts, look at it from all sides, and satisfy itself fully that it is protecting its treasured heritage inherited by it, before arriving at a decision.

We believe such a situation has come up in Mysore.We call upon our leaders to rise to the occasion.

………………..

H.R. Bapu Satyanarayana Mysore
E.R. Ramachandran
Krishna Vattam August 18, 2007
T.S.Satyan
K.Manu

Sleepless in New Delhi!

2007-08-11T23:13:00.000-07:00

The Prime Minister is not able to sleep these days for a variety of reasons. Although he has mentioned some of them in public, his doctor was ready to share more information on this.

‘He just can’t sleep when the stock market is going thro’ the roof and the industry is doing very well.’ said his doctor.

‘Why? That should make him happier!’ I was surprised.

‘He thinks of the salary the captains of Industry are making. He is worried the Navarathna Chiefs may also start demanding similar salary and because of this all night he keeps counting the rupees, er, instead of counting the lambs’.

‘But surely the P.M. must understand the rationale here. The Private sector is not DRDO and is doing very well.’I protested.

‘That’s the problem. The Navarathnas don’t want to be called so just by name. They want salaries matching their new status. The P.M. feels first it will be the PSUs, then MPs and MLAs will be asking for further raise and how can he sleep when he is counting with his fingers and toes all night’?

‘Even the 1984 attack on Sikhs after Indira Gandhi assassination seems to be bothering him now affecting his sleep…’ I queried.

‘You are right. To see riot-instigators instead of being in jail, still moving around in his party as heroes must be gut-wrenching for him’.

‘Can’t he shut his mind off before he goes to sleep’?

‘Easily said than done. These days he can’t sleep thinking what Pratibha Patil will say next. Her statements have started giving him nightmares’. Said the doctor.

‘No point in worrying about it as Patil herself doesn’t know what she is going to say next. Even if she says something absurd, she can always get away saying she didn’t mean it as she was re-living something out of her own dream. Still, it would be dreadful in the coming days for the already sleep-deprived P.M.?’

‘Indeed, as she can keep him in tenterhooks for the next five years. Imagine being sleepless for that long. By then, even his nightmares will have nightmares!’

‘Do you think anybody can survive in such a state of mind for that long’?

‘Good question. After sometime there will be ringing in the ears which is when P.M. will start picking up noises from the inner voice.’

‘Like what?’ I asked.

‘Finito. Khel Khatham.It means Thanks and Good Bye’, concluded the doctor.

……………………

E.R. Ramachandran 12 August ‘07

Coaching Indian Team......

2007-05-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

There is an unnecessary brouhaha about who the next coach of Indian cricket will be. Will it be Whatmore, Moody, Buchanan, Bracewell…….?

Well, it doesn’t matter who India’s coach will eventually be.

What’s important is: what happens after that. Here’s the likely scenario.

Networks, frothing in their mouths, their cameras craning for angles will splash it all over. Except when he is in the loo, his appointment as the new coach will be covered or uncovered everywhere.

2. Before appointment, he would have been suitably’ ‘appraised’ by senior players, and after he gives in for their list of ‘do’s and’ don’ts’, they would have recommended him for selection.

3. The obsequious Coach next meets senior ex- cricketers like Sunil Gavaskar, Kapil Dev, Ravi Shastri (1 Test-captain) etc seeking their help. They assure him of their support, keeping aside their knives for the time being.

4, The new coach starts his job by drawing a line in the middle of a paper and writing down who is most important on the Left side and who can be safely ignored on the Right side from among the Board, Selection Committee, Cricket Academy, State Associations, Sports correspondents, Networks etc. The outgoing coach would have briefed the new coach to get this right as his survival would much depend on this. He borrows additional sheets from Board Secretary Niranjan Shah.

5. In the evening he is asked to visit Raj Singh Dungarpur to pay his respects, who in turn gives a long lecture on Pentangular Cricket and takes him to his uncle to pay some more respects. After another long lecture, the coach comes back tired with a splitting headache.

6. At Night there is a call from kolkatha. The President of Cricket Association of Bengal (CAB) Prasun Mookherjee invites him to inaugurate the Sourav Ganguly temple in Beliaghata with Buddha Deb Bhattacharya and Ms. Karat as special guests. After he hangs up, there is one more call. Now, their rivals under Jagmohan Dalmia invite him for inauguration of one more Temple of Ganguly next to Amitabh Bachhan’s temple by Mamta Didi and Jyoti Basu. Both the callers hold a veiled threat that they can’t promise his security at Eden Gardens if he skips the function. The coach starts sweating mildly even in the A/C room.

7. Next day, the committee which selected him feels he should be hired on a temporary basis and given a contract only after he proves himself. Till such time, the coach will draw his daily wages from Treasurer Srinivasan. This is communicated to him by an email.

8.The new coach attends a felicitation function in which Mohinder Amarnath the ‘comeback Kid’ of Indian cricket fires a salvo saying the only reason BCCI goes for a foreign coach is because of its slavish mentality even after 60 years of Independence. Worse is yet to come, when Mohinder sings a Punjabi song and sings for another half an hour.

9. In the same function, Mandira Bedi and Charu Sharma who are still in the West Indian hangover ask Ms. Rithambara, to consult her tarot cards and predict how long the coach will survive .The coach is asked to show his palm so that she can read between the lines and predict for him. Finally, she admits she can do so only after seeing BCCI President Sharad Pawar’s hand. Everybody knows, nobody in India can read Pawar’s hand, not even Mr. Pawar himself!

10. Next day, the players send a delegation of Advertisers to meet the coach .They feel a discussion between them could bring the players closer to the coach. At the end, coach does a Bhangra with the players joining him for the song ‘agale baar cup jaroor leayenge!’ which comes as ‘Breaking News’ by all Networks at 11P.M. News.

Late night, as he is lying on the bed he remembers he hasn’t opened his coaching manual yet.

Then, he remembers the parting words of the previous coach.

‘You won’t need those manuals as long as you are in India!’

…………………
E.R. Ramachandran 13 May 2007

Shed a tear for these very important persons…

2007-05-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

Not VIPs of the sort who populate our pages and screens these days, not VIPs who put up banners at street corners wishing you for Ugadi or Rajyosthsava, but two very important persons whose very importance lies in their anonymous, faceless, unknown, unsung existence.
The two VIPs were Under Ground Drainage UGD workers. Two among the 3,000 or so UGD workers spread across the State, and who comprise a tenth of whom we grandly call pourakarmikas.
The two Mandya workers died due to asphyxiation. This happened on May Day when our politicians do a ‘ talkathan’ on protecting workers’ interests etc. Similar cases have been reported from Mysore and Malavalli. These deaths happen every now and then and are becoming all too routine to cause any discomfort.
How many more of these very important persons will have to meet their maker before the fake VIPs wake up?
The main job of UGD workers is to go underground and clean up the clogged mess in the pipes in the City. They endure unbearable stench, swim in swirling sewage, and, after working for a few years in that setting, are sure hosts of cancer, asthma, gangrene and skin diseases.
They are supposed to be given protective devices such as a helmet, a gas mask, gum boots, miners’ torch, gloves etc.
What do they get instead? Don’t laugh.
A long cane stick to poke clogged joints!
Even while cleaning a manhole they have to follow a method. After opening the manhole cover, kerosene and salt should be sprinkled to kill the bacteria swirling in the cesspool. Workers are supposed to wait for half an hour before they get in.
But, as the deaths demonstrate, safety norms are being flouted with impunity under the nose of inspectors, and all the Government seems to be able to do most of the time is shift the blame on the contractor.
Why are the safety norms not followed?
What is the Labour Department doing?
Shouldn’t some heads roll in these offices for sheer neglect when there are deaths statewide?
We are building mini-Vidhana Soudhas in the State and sure enough mini-Vikas Soudhas will follow. A tidy sum of Rs 30 crore has been promised to a Mutt to take care of native cows. What about UGD pourakarmikas—human beings like you and me—who do what neither you nor me are ready to: clean up everybody’s shit without proper equipment and guidelines risking their health everyday?
Which network follows their travails through the day with ‘Breaking News’? How many assemble studio guests to discuss their plight, their problems, their working and living (and indeed dying) conditions? How many ‘experts’ from civil engineering departments, concerned government departments, discuss the ‘Big Question’?
When will their lot improve?
Have the Mannina Maga or Mommaga done anything for the hapless people who spend their lives cleaning up other people’s shit?
Shouldn’t they be?
***
Tailpiece: Hubli-Dharwad Municipal Corporation –HDMC- has been given an ISO Certification for its excellent work .How about a mutual transfer of officials and get Mr. Excellence here to clean up the mess that is My Sore!?
…….........
E.R. Ramachandran 07 May, ‘07

'Who should go in Chandra.yawn, trip to Moon?'

2007-04-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

ISRO Director Shri. Madhavan Nair is all set to launch Chandra..yawn, the trip to Moon, in 2008.But unlike NASA, he thought India should send a civilian or two along with the scientists. He wanted to show the world, as the largest democracy, India did things differently from Yankees. He called for nominations for the ‘Aam Admi’ slot.

The IIT /IIM students met Nair and wanted to send Union HRD Minister Arjun Singh to the Moon, so he could practice ABC of OBC calculations without interference. Alone, they felt, Singh could go on till he got his figures right, whether it is 27% or 73 or whatever. They had brought a small gift for him - an old geometry box with only a Divider in it, using which Mr. Singh could go on to dividing the Moon without getting rapped on the knuckles by any Court. Of course, we would see some scratches from here, but we should cheerfully accept the fact he is busy doing something there.

The inconsolable Cricket fans wanted to send the entire team to Moon so that they could play among themselves there and create meaningless records for CEAT Ratings and the seniors in the team could rag the juniors to their hearts content without a coach butting in.

Pakistan had a special request. Could India accommodate their Cricket Team as well as the Selectors as they were planning to overhaul the entire setup?

BJP wanted to send their New Travel Agent so he could organize trips all over moon and smuggle whatever he could get under the craters.. Buddha Deb Bhattacharya wanted to send Mamta Didi and gift her part of the moon – Chandigram - so that she could practice her daily hartal and hunger strike.

The Indian Olympic Association Chief Suresh Kalmadi was bent on sending his Sports Minister Mani Shankara Iyer so that he could organize and attend more and more Panchayat Raj meetings all by himself. The Minister in turn threatened to pack off the whole IOA to Moon so that no more money would be spent in organizing extravagant Sports Meet in which India, either figured in the list of athletes caught on doping tests or generally finished last among the Nations.

The ‘Moral Police’ brigade wanted to book a seat for Shilpa Shetty to Moon so that she could practice any number of kisses the way she wanted.. Shilpa on the other hand wanted to dispatch the whole brigade so that they could make effigies all the time which they won’t be able to burn!

Closer home, the congress party in Karnataka wanted to send Chief Minister Kumara Swamy on a secret mission to moon so that people don’t have to worry where he is going to halt for the night. Others thought the former Prime Minister Deve Gowda would be more suitable as he could plan all his moves and countermoves peacefully .Since he generally kept all and sundry confused with his motives they wanted to see, in a lighter atmosphere, whether moon would have any effect on him or his theories.

Bollywood wanted to send Amitabh Bachhan and Shah Rukh Kahn so that they could sort out their differences there and decide, between the two who should win this year’s Filmfare award. Some feared Shah Rukh may send Ash-Abhisek packing to moon as his marriage gift and remove competition in one stroke!

If you want to send anybody to Moon please name the person and say and why, so that Mr. Nair could be informed.

***

……………………..

E.R. Ramachandran 22 April 2007

'Punishment for Mr. Narayanamurthy'!

2007-04-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

The NRN episode on National Anthem rightly created a flutter all over with Mr. Murthy finally, tendering an apology.

The echo is still being heard in the corridors of Power in Bangalore, because the punishment has not been decided yet. Since these things are decided in Vidhana Soudha, I went and met the All-Party Spokesperson who was very calm and courteous despite all the hungama going around her. She looked all harried and haggard.

‘What are you going to do with Mr. Murthy now that he has apologized?’

‘He has apologized, but there is so much to be done, sir. One of our leaders wants him to be deported where nobody wants him. I have been phoning all over the last three days. Everywhere they seem to want him. At this rate, it’s going to be difficult to pack him off to nowhere’.

‘You didn’t find any place?’

‘To teach Mr. Murthy a lesson which he will not forget easily, another leader wanted that Mr. Murthy be sent to a place where there is no water …. I was thinking of a Planet near Earth - HD 209458b. Even ISRO was ready to help us out. But the U.S. Scientists have spoiled it all. They have just found there is water in that planet! If you ask me, as a punishment, there is no place better than Bangalore, as you get water only once in 3 days here. I get up at 4 in the morning to store 2 buckets of water before I come for work. Probably we will let him stay here. This will be the best punishment’!

‘Any more suggestions from our MLAs?’

‘One of them wanted a CBI enquiry. I tried to call the Agency .Somebody bluntly told me they have many cases already lined up like the Bellary scam, NICE scam, assets disproportionate to income etc for which they are still awaiting clearance. Obviously they just can’t take up this thing’.

‘I sympathize with you. But can’t you line up any punishment at all’?

‘I have to, sir. Otherwise I will lose my job! You seem to understand my problem better. I thought maybe we should put some more pot holes in the IT Corridor before Monsoon sets in. This will teach all of them a lesson. The BMC is already doing their bit.. But this is punishment, no sir? We should ask them to dig it up deeper.. perhaps, a trench every few yards.

We could also make the approach road to their campus one way and ask them to go round and round till they go nowhere. We are good in making such roads in Bangalore…I have to think something quick…If you get any ideas will you please call and let me know …? Thank you, sir.’
***
Tailpiece: At last, at the instance of an ex- MLA, the Vijaynagar water tank with huge gaps in its roof is being cleaned after 7 years! What about MCC itself? If it is given a good shakeup, hopefully lot of muck will come out!

E.R. Ramachandran
………………

Some more Posers to MCC....

2007-01-27T21:29:00.000-08:00

1. Some NGSs and public have complained recently, that the water supplied to Mysore city is polluted as regular treated water is getting mixed with sewage water at Devaraya Canal. An NGO -MGP- has even published photograph of the likely place this takes place. The Vani Vilas Water Works has not come with any convincing answer to the charges, which involves Public Health.

Last year, similar accusation was levelled against (Mysore City Corporation) MCC. The then Commissioner, who ran a running battle with NGOs, just refused to accept the fact the water supplied to Mysore was contaminated, when even one girl died of jaundice as a result of this.

One obvious solution to the Annual- tug-of-war is:Why can't the MCC take the help of an independant body or institute to test the water parameters once a month and make the results public in local Newspapers and T.V.? This will, at once clear the air, make the work of MCC more transparent.The Indian Institute of Science ( IISc), is a world famous institute and it's Civil Engineering Dept. would be glad to carry out the tests and help out MCC.Even the Local Engineering Colleges and experts can help out. Instead , it is amusing to see charges are disregarded and some inane explanations are dished out periodically.

The present Commissioner is receptive to ideas, willing to discuss with Public on various topics. Surely, it will enhance the reputation of MCC, if its Chief Officer, makes sure good quality water is supplied, gets it tested independantly and makes Public ,the results. The MCC can really gain the confidence of the Public by this simple act.

2. It is a common sight for locals and tourists to find pigs crosssing their path every now and then in Mysore which is touted as ' Tourists City and Heritage City'!In some places, the pigs roam around primary and middle schools ,amidst children, when they have their aftrenoon lunch.It is well known mosquito-pig is a deadly combination in spreading Encephalitis - a brain disease- among childre who have low immunity. This happened a couple of years ago in Rai Bareli, in U.P. when they were lot of deaths. Zoologists have chronicled some of the States which are potentially prone to this disease. Mysore is one of them. The Research Paper and the statistics have been given to the Commisioner , six months back. Yet nothing has happened. They are dishing out some inane explanation 'that they are in the process of importing pig catchers from Tamil Nadu'!
Jnurm funds, Dasara funds in Millions will come to Mysore for a cleaner, more hygenic environment. Yet, the pigs will be a permanent attraction (!)in Mysore, posing hazards to children, courtesy MCC...

Just two Posers to Mysoreans

2007-01-24T21:24:00.000-08:00

1. The New Railway Budget will be announced by Prof. L.P. Yadhav shortly.The Railway is sitting on unprecedented profit of more than Rs. 20,000 crores and a sense of euphoria.Lalu has shown a sense of urgency to take on new projects, rebuild stations, provide better passenger facilities.

What's happening in Karnataka and Mysore? The Bangalore- Mysore Railway project will perhaps enter in to Guiness Book Of Records for 'sheer slow march' which can beat any Bandset playing the dirge. If this project is put in 'faster track' , apart from save milliong of gallons of Diesel , it can bring in pollution -free cheaper, faster travel by electric train in less than 2 hours or so. It can speed up travel, improve business, improve tourism and so on...

Why is the State Govt. dragging its feet on this? The officials and Ministers ought to be in RailBhavan meeting officials, pulling strings or whatever to speed the process up. Instead they were first busy doing the 'Resort meetings' and now busier with Card or cabinet reshuffles!

One hears so many rumours such as the Govt, itself doesn't want this project as it would cut in to profits of KSRTC, Links with Volvo and even NICE seeems to be objecting to the Railway project etc..

Once the budget is out and finding no mention of projects , the State will go in to 'breast-beating' mode that we have been once again neglected. Can't something be done NOW?? What is our M.P., who is also in the Railway Sub- committees doing ?

2. Whatever happened to the 'Sound and Light' project of MysorePalace which was uncorked with 'Lightning and Thunder and Pomp' before the last Dasara festival? Has it been put to the proverbial anasthesia, till next Dasara? Politicians, the ever 'watch dog' press seem to have forgotten about the whole thing..Already lot of taxpayers money has been spent on this. When will it see the light of the Day??

Kuntebille in Karnataka

2006-12-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

As we sipped the best coffee in the campus canteen, I asked the Ace Political Expert (APE), what he thought of the University’s move to cut trees wholesale, to make way for a Laboratory.

‘It’s ridiculous. It’s akin to ‘Fence eating the Crops’. It’s in schools and colleges one expects the teachers to instill a sense of responsibility in the students to respect and preserve the environment. However, some of our Professors who lecture nonstop during a ‘vana mahothsava’ function, seem to practice ‘Ona mahothsava’ for the rest of the year!’

‘I believe the trees are cut to make way for Molecular Biology Department’.

‘That’s the irony! On the one hand, you remove life from trees and convert them to a pile of wood, and on the other, create a Life Science Department!! It’s all nice to hear that more saplings will be planted, but does any one care to comprehend the loss to the environment when you go on chopping well-grown trees? It reminds me of a similar incident during Chinese aggression during the ‘Hindi-Cheeni Bhai- Bhai’ days. When Prime Minister Nehru told the parliament that not a blade of grass grows in Akshaichin area and we shouldn’t make too much of losing land to China, the ever irrepressible Acharya Kripalani asked Nehru, ‘ As per your theory, should I cut my head as I have become bald now?!’.

‘What do you think of the Kannada Sahithya Sammelna that was held in Shivamogga?’

‘ In terms of participation, it drew a large crowd. But it appears to have widened the rift between practitioners of politics and literature, which is a pity. Here was an excellent opportunity to, possibly, create a ‘Kannada Wave’ in the State, which could have ushered classical status for the language, brought our border brethren to the fold and created a stronger Karnataka that spoke and acted in unison. Unfortunately, political interference from literati themselves and a grand spectacle of fights on the dais seemed to have negated whatever it gained in the Sammelana. Sahitya Sammelna, to a large extent, became, ‘Kusthi Akhada’ of ‘Hattu Mane Garudi’!

‘The year is ending. How do you see Karnataka in 2007?’

‘ We will see the Test of 20-month theory of power- sharing. Even if there is smooth transfer of power, I already see an Internal Tsunami brewing in BJP ranks. Here too, we may have ‘C.M.- in –Waiting’ queue as in Center, where there is already a

P.M.- in –Waiting line! This is a case of ‘koosu huttoke munche Kulavi’!, concluded the APE.

………………

A NICE Goodbye!

2006-11-06T08:22:00.000-08:00

The Bangalore –Mysore Infrastructure Corridor (BMIC) Project of Nandi Infrastructure Corridor Enterprises ( NICE) is turning out to be a one-way street for fights, affidavits and counter affidavits. Every now and then, the promoter of the project is seen in Newspapers hugging villagers in some obscure place at the proposed site and announcing ‘all things have been tied up’ and work will ‘ start simultaneously’ on many fronts. On the other side, the Government flexes its muscles determined to stop the project on its muddy tracks. The Supreme Court, on its part has requisitioned for more gavels, as continuous and ceaseless rapping of GOK softened their gavels and it didn’t seem to hurt them any more.

I wanted to find out from the horses’ mouth where the project is heading assuming there are only two horses, as at present.

First I went and met the promoter in a field eating kadalekai amidst some villagers. He looked more like a cross between a lawyer and a mason and hardly the debonair businessman from U.S. whose love for his hometown brought him to this project.

‘ Sir, ever since you announced the BMIC Project, you seem to be spending your time, mostly in courts’, I started.

‘I also practice boxing in my spare time so that I can give back whatever I get in full measure ’, said the gutsy promoter.

‘ Despite the Supreme Court coming to your rescue, still the corridor doesn’t seem to get off the ground. What’s your next move?’

‘ Since Supreme Court is unable to help me, I have now decided to approach the World Court at the Hague, Netherlands for justice. If I win there, I am told, The U.N. will give protection to my masons and construction workers by sending their Armed Forces from First World Countries. I will also personally appeal to Kofi Annanji to help out’.

That seemed a perfectly normal thing to do when even the hands of the highest court in the land is tied and glued with fevicol.

Next I approached the Official of GOK, who was twiddling his thumb not sure whether to sit in Vikasa Soudha or Vidhana Soudha. I broke his reverie.

‘ Sir, I believe, you are handling the ‘Bang-Miss’ Corridor project’.

I was told that is how the officials call the project. He was surprised how I had used their secret code, but didn’t show it.

‘ Tell me, what can I do’.

‘Even after the Courts have given the project the ‘go ahead’ countless number of times - I forget the last count – still GOK doesn’t give the necessary land for the BMIC project to start work. This is one of the ‘Fast Track’ projects, you are handling, I presume’.

‘ Indeed. We are still not convinced how much land is required for this damn ‘Bang-Miss’ er- the BMIC project’.

‘ But GOK itself approved the project in the first place and the Supreme Court has cleared all obstacles for the project and wants the corridor work to start in full steam’.

‘The Courts underestimate us. We are still not convinced how much land is required. Until that matter is cleared we will do everything to stop the project’.

I had seen officials bending their backs to get companies and investors. Here’s a case when the Govt. was hell bent on driving the promoter away.

‘ How will you stop the project?’ I almost shouted.

‘ There are many ways. We will impose sanctions against the promoter similar to what U.S did on Iraq. We will ask the Builder Association of Karnataka / India not to supply masons, casual labourers. We will see that nobody sells cement, sand and construction equipment. We will not allow any lorries to the site. He won’t be able to start work!’

There was a note of triumph in his voice.

As I took a last look at the BMIC project, I saw two donkeys at the site.

They were chewing some drawings with the supreme satisfaction, that another 50 generations they could do so and multiply there without any worry…

…………………

E.R. Ramachandran 4, November, 2006

'BCCI Bowls Wides All Over!'

2006-10-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

A Satire

The President of the BCCI, called the media, assembled in the Conference Room of ‘BCCI-Pavilion’ the new 9- Star Hotel in Mumbai, to order. Apart Cricketer- turned-expert telecaster-cum- columnists, some sprinkling of foreign and local media was present.

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the BCCI Road Show. Before we kick start the show, a word about our name. We are not, The Board of Control for Cricket in India any more. From now on, we are, the Board of Cricket for Commerce International. You might have noticed: We are still the same old BCCI! Only our emphasis from now on will be slightly different, which I will explain. If you have any questions, just stop me whenever you feel.

We will have our Hq. in the four corners of the world namely Paris, Seattle, Hollywood & Tokyo. This will give us a geographical reach and leverage unheard of in modern day business.’

‘Mr. Pawar, among the cities you mentioned - none of them know which end of the bat to hold to play cricket!’ That was Geoff Boycott, the once- dour opening batsman – now- a-brilliant one-day expert telecaster.

‘It’s true, Geoff! But they all have a role to play in our scheme of things. BCCI is considering a variety of business options in the near future…. . You’ve seen how passengers get stuck in Delhi with fog, smog and all that. Soon, We will fly players on our own planes around the globe and land on our own Airports. .. Airbus and Boeing are eager to be our consultants… Hence, we will have offices in Paris and Seattle. Also, our boys are tired of shooting Ads all thro’ the year. This can be very distracting, as, Dravid found out recently, when an young lady patted on his behind asking him and his boys to run faster…After that, Dravid couldn’t concentrate during the toss, and called out ‘Tails’ instead of ‘Heads’! That cost us the DLF Cup in Malaysia. So, we ‘ve tied with Steven Spielberg to shoot the ads at a stretch. That’s where Hollywood comes in. We are also planning a serial ‘Lage Raho BCCI’ from this year.’

‘Why, Tokyo? They can’t even spell cricket..’ That was Tony Greig, the former England Captain, an eternal emigrant seeking greener pastures.

‘I know, Tony! All the Electronics that our boys advertise comes from there. We will be guests of Sony and Panasonic. Sachin and Dhoni will be running a ‘ PONY I -pod cricket clinic’ for beginners there’.

‘What are your other plans?’ asked the Father of Indian Television Prannoy Roy.

‘Prannoy, After Kerry’s (Packer) untimely death, we see a big lacuna in Global TV Sports. BCCI will do its bit to fill the gap. We are linking with Laxmi Mittal, Sony and Anil Ambani for world Rights for all Sports. We haven’t decided on the logo yet and I am sure we can squeeze in some space between the neck and collarbone of our boys for the logo’.

‘ Are you going to be in Hotels too?’ asked Ms. Bedi, dressed in an imaginative ensemble challenging viewers’ imagination further.

‘Mandira, There’s some lady – Paris Hilton -who has come down to met us. We will be launching BCCI- Hiltons in every cricket playing city in the world.’

‘ Mr. Pawar! Aren’t you going to do any thing for Cricket? I mean REAL cricket.. Stuff like bat, ball, coaching, nets, winning matches etc…’ asked the hard-hitting Rajdeep Sardesai, son of former cricketer Dileep Sardesai. Rajdeep is the emerging baron in the Indian media horizon.

‘ Thanks Rajdeep for reminding! Greg Chappell is working with the boys on this and when I find time, may be I’ll sit with him… Mean while, if you are all ready, its time to move in for cocktails and dinner. Later, we have a Bollywood- BCCI Hungama. They have roped me into this too. I will be doing an ‘Item Number’ this year.’

………………

E.R. Ramachandran 28, October 2006

.

BCCI Bowls Wides All Over!

2006-10-28T22:30:00.000-07:00

A Chat on Foreign Policy

2006-09-28T00:34:00.000-07:00

I met the Spokesman for Ministry Of External Affairs at the entrance of Press Club. Here was a chance to know how our Foreign Policy works in the Government, I thought, and quickly reminded him that he had once offered to spend an evening with me. He graciously agreed.

I ordered his favourite Scotch with ice and a beer for me.

The Spokesman was even more gracious and offered me Havana Cigar.

As I inhaled, the cigar, the smoke brought all the questions racing to my head.

‘That was a great NAM Meeting you just had’, I started, sipping my beer.

‘Couldn’t have been better. Although we missed the Old Man - Castro - everything went very well especially P.M.’s meeting with General Musharaff’, said the spokesman taking big swigs of the whiskey.

‘ According to Police, both the perpetrators of Mumbai blasts and the World Trade Center blasts seem to have been trained at the same Training Centre. 7/11 and 9/11. Of course, you know 7/11; 11th July, the day the local trains were blasted in Mumbai.’

‘Very true. We have handed over photographs and details of the Training Camps in POK to the U.S. Government’.

The Spokesman called out the waiter and ordered for Vodka with ice. I was surprised with his change of menu, but I ordered some more beer for me.

The Cigar smoke hung around us and the air was getting hazy.

‘ The P.M. issued a joint statement with Gen. Musharaff that Pakistan is also a victim of terrorism. By the way, how will you jointly operate the mechanism of monitoring terrorism when your partner himself is known to indulge in the act?’ I asked.

The spokesman took a large gulp of vodka and said, ‘Look here! we are not absolving Pakistan’s support to militants across the border. In fact I have got that in my notes and show it to their Spokesman whenever we meet! The joint mechanism allows us to exchange notes as and when acts of terrorism are committed either in Kashmir, Mumbai or wherever in India. All the communication channels will be open and we will conduct joint investigations on motives, kind of bombs used and to ascertain whether it was done for freedom struggle etc’.

Next, the Spokesman ordered Red wine as I stuck with beer.

‘President Bush has asserted U.S.’ right to flush out Osama Bin Laden by sending his troops, if there is information Laden is holed up in Pakistan. Do you support that?’

‘Of course! Well, I mean, U.S has got every right to get Laden by whatever means it feels appropriate.’

‘Do you think that it will be against the sovereignty of Pakistan?’

Looking bewildered, the spokesman gulped a mouthful of wine and began defending his new ally. ‘You know, Pakistan has every right to defend itself if any outside force enters its country. What I mean to say is… I really don’t know!’

By now, our Foreign Policy appeared hazier to me than the smoke from the cigars. I could neither see him clearly nor see any logic in his answers.

‘One Last question before we go. Will your joint Partner, hand over Dawood Ibrahim to you since it is proved he is the mastermind and is also convicted in 1993 Bombay blasts?’

‘ You know, although we are partners in fight against terror, our joint mechanism is only for transfer of information, knowledge etc etc… but not people’ mumbled the spokesman.

May be because of the swirling cigar smoke, drinks, or our confusing foreign Policy, difficult to say which, I barely managed to stumble out holding an equally unsteady spokesman out to the open.

…………………..
E.R.Ramachandran 28,September ,2006

Towards a Graceful and Dignified Dasara

2006-09-21T08:50:00.001-07:00

Now that it’s almost zero hour for Dasara cultural festivals, it’s worth remembering some points, which will go a long way in making it a success. The Govt., the various Committees, Sub-Committees etc have put in tremendous efforts despite, a late start. Artistes from All over the State and the country have been invited to perform at over half a dozen places at a time. The festival is a culmination of religious, spiritual and cultural confluence depicting the ethos of Karnataka and hence rightly called the Naada Habba. It is also a showcase for outsiders, especially foreigners, as Mysore rightly holds the mantle of tourism in the State. Hence it is important that there is dignity in entertainment and grace in the conduct of the various shows.

Following are some of the points which authorities should consider and try to implement to achieve the desired result.

1. In the main Palace premise, which showcases the cultural programmes, almost always there is utter confusion, unmitigated chaos during the entire show. The show invariably starts with a very large number of people crowding the dais, each vying with the other to praise the Government in power, a sub –committee member praising rest of his committee members for the favour and finally Goddess Chamundi, in that order! This not only tests the patience of public and the artiste, but is also an unabashed exhibition of mixture of backslapping camaraderie and slavery in public.

v They should adopt a crisp introduction cutting out all frills and, start and finish the programme by the clock. A crash course with Media Event Managers like Wizcraft would be ideal as to how to manage time and how to cut unwanted bureaucracy to size.

2. Once the programme starts, invariably, the latecomers who occupy the front seats make their august presence, expecting the performers to salute them and enter with an assumed and exaggerated sense of self importance and expecting, if possible, the artiste to repeat the song or dance whatever they had missed!

v These habitual latecomers should not be allowed to the front seats but shown their place politely and firmly somewhere near the back. Only by doing this, we can respect art and the artistes.

3. One of the major Indian mindset is, no function, play, music, dance or anything for that matter, can take place without a slice of eating thrown in between! Hence we will find vendors hailing their wares such as ‘ Sippe Kadale kai!’, ‘ Kharada Puri!’, ‘Menasina Kai Bhajji!’, ‘Pakoda!’ moving around freely right up to the dais! During a Mohana Aalapana by Balamural Krishna, you can find a serious bargaining for the eatables converting the place to a Sunday santhe ! Sometimes our front bencher- dignitary hails the vendor for a session in bargaining and supply!

v By all means, there should be fun and eating is one of the components. Hence authorities should make place for these in the rear in the lawns where a large number listen and watch the show on the CCTV. Here , they can make arrangements for eating to one’s heart content.

4. Lastly, do not allow politicians to turn the stage in to a mockery of a show. Couple of years back, one saw a childish MLA rendering ‘Naayi mari Naayi mari thindi Beke’ which was a request from the then Chief Minister! Apart from reducing the show to buffoonery, the C.M. and his troupe made the main artistes Padma Subramayam and her niece to wait for quite sometime. One must also compliment the dancers who did not want to disappoint the assembled crowd who had braved the rain and danced on an improptu uneven surface earning the gratitude of the public.

v No buffoonery please, even if it makes you a faithful dog as in HMV!

………………….

E.R.Ramachandran 22 ,September‘06 .

.

Towards a Graceful and Dignified Dasara

2006-09-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

Now that it’s almost zero hour for Dasara cultural festivals, it’s worth remembering some points, which will go a long way in making it a success. The Govt., the various Committees, Sub-Committees etc have put in tremendous efforts despite, a late start. Artistes from All over the State and the country have been invited to perform at over half a dozen places at a time. The festival is a culmination of religious, spiritual and cultural confluence depicting the ethos of Karnataka and hence rightly called the Naada Habba. It is also a showcase for outsiders, especially foreigners, as Mysore rightly holds the mantle of tourism in the State. Hence it is important that there is dignity in entertainment and grace in the conduct of the various shows.

Following are some of the points which authorities should consider and try to implement to achieve the desired result.

1. In the main Palace premise, which showcases the cultural programmes, almost always there is utter confusion, unmitigated chaos during the entire show. The show invariably starts with a very large number of people crowding the dais, each vying with the other to praise the Government in power, a sub –committee member praising rest of his committee members for the favour and finally Goddess Chamundi, in that order! This not only tests the patience of public and the artiste, but is also an unabashed exhibition of mixture of backslapping camaraderie and slavery in public.

v They should adopt a crisp introduction cutting out all frills and, start and finish the programme by the clock. A crash course with Media Event Managers like Wizcraft would be ideal as to how to manage time and how to cut unwanted bureaucracy to size.

2. Once the programme starts, invariably, the latecomers who occupy the front seats make their august presence, expecting the performers to salute them and enter with an assumed and exaggerated sense of self importance and expecting, if possible, the artiste to repeat the song or dance whatever they had missed!

v These habitual latecomers should not be allowed to the front seats but shown their place politely and firmly somewhere near the back. Only by doing this, we can respect art and the artistes.

3. One of the major Indian mindset is, no function, play, music, dance or anything for that matter, can take place without a slice of eating thrown in between! Hence we will find vendors hailing their wares such as ‘ Sippe Kadale kai!’, ‘ Kharada Puri!’, ‘Menasina Kai Bhajji!’, ‘Pakoda!’ moving around freely right up to the dais! During a Mohana Aalapana by Balamural Krishna, you can find a serious bargaining for the eatables converting the place to a Sunday santhe ! Sometimes our front bencher- dignitary hails the vendor for a session in bargaining and supply!

v By all means, there should be fun and eating is one of the components. Hence authorities should make place for these in the rear in the lawns where a large number listen and watch the show on the CCTV. Here , they can make arrangements for eating to one’s heart content.

4. Lastly, do not allow politicians to turn the stage in to a mockery of a show. Couple of years back, one saw a childish MLA rendering ‘Naayi mari Naayi mari thindi Beke’ which was a request from the then Chief Minister! Apart from reducing the show to buffoonery, the C.M. and his troupe made the main artistes Padma Subramayam and her niece to wait for quite sometime. One must also compliment the dancers who did not want to disappoint the assembled crowd who had braved the rain and danced on an improptu uneven surface earning the gratitude of the public.

v No buffoonery please, even if it makes you a faithful dog as in HMV!

………………….

E.R.Ramachandran 22 ,September‘06 .

.

Death- What a wonderful way to explain it!

2006-09-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

(I would like to share it with Mymysore readers / bloggers , a piece I received as Forward from a friend of mine.)
E.R. Ramachandran
15 ,Sept. '06

~DEATH~ WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT !!!!!

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.

" Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a religious man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough."

..............................

Choosing a Date for the Helmet!

2006-09-06T22:09:00.000-07:00

The Cabinet sub-committee under the C.M. met in his office to choose a date for introducing Helmets in the State for two-wheeler and pillion riders. The C.M., with a calendar in front of him, was deep in thought and shook his head while muttering to himself ‘July, August, September’.

The C.M. started the proceedings. After going thro’ the dates the C.M. said,

‘ October 1st seems to be all right. I will announce that helmets are compulsory from 1st October, 2006.’

‘Sir, October 2nd is Gandhi Jayanthi and is a public holiday. It is not good to start a new rule when the following day is a holiday. Further, out of respect for Bapuji, we should not start this on 1st October’. That was from the Home Minister who is the senior most member of the cabinet and, considered, a Gandhian, of sorts.

‘ How about 1st November? Yes. We will start the new rule from 1st November’.

‘ We can’t do that. November 1st is Karnataka Rajyotsava Day. Moreover, it is Suvarna Karnataka Year . We should not come in the way of people celebrating the historic event with a rule, which is cumbersome and curtails their freedom. In fact, we should be lenient in November even if they break any traffic rules. I will advise the police commissioner and the RTO accordingly’, that was the PWD Minister, and elder brother of C.M.

The younger sibling buried his head in the calendar again to fish for fresh dates!

‘That’s it. I have got it. The Helmet become compulsory from 1st December 2006’.

‘Sir, Let’s not be in a hurry. December 1st is Ekadasi. Not an auspicious day to start a new rule when a majority of people go on a fast and start their day hungry! Further, 1st December is World Aids day! Considering all that we should not start on December 1st’. That was Minister for Secondary and Higher Education.

‘That doesn’t give us much option. All right. Let us start from New Year Day. January, 1st, 2007’

The Police Commissioner, who was a special invitee, intervened.

‘Sir, December 31st is the New Year eve. As it is, we put number of restrictions with regard to consumption of liquor and driving after drinking. New year bashers will use their helmets to bash us .It will become a weapon in their hands. Remember the day of Rajkumar’s funeral, sir? We should not start on 1st January, sir’.

The C.M. Scratched his head and once again started pulling his hair – whatever that was left of it and thought - ‘ I never faced such a difficult situation even when we mounted a vote of confidence last year or during Bellary CD show’.

All right! let’s decide it will be from 1st of February 2007 and go home’.

‘ February and March are ‘Tax Months’ in the State, sir. Most of them will have to invest in NSC, PPF, LIC, etc. Their salary would have gone into tax saving schemes and most of them would be lucky to take home any salary. We shouldn’t burden them further’ that was the Finance Minister.

The C.M. covered his head with the calendar. Suddenly, he tore part of the last sheet off the calendar, scratched and pierced a hole at a particular place and shouted,

‘ No more discussions. My decision is final. The New Helmet Rule will come from 1st, April 2007. The meeting is over.’

That’s it. It will now become effective from All Fools Day!!

…………………..
E.R. Ramachandran 07 September 2006

.

'Ajji's Bouncers!'

2006-08-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

Take it Easy!

Ajji was doing ‘tulsi’ pooje, while I was sitting by the tulsi katte and reading the Newspaper.

‘Ramu, I want to se the ‘Sound and Light’ programme in Aramane’.

‘Ajji, It’s still not clear when it’s going to start. Minister Jayakumar said the other day they have got the script all wrong and the show won’t be ready till next Dasara’.

‘Is this an exam or test to get it right or wrong? I thought it is a show depicting events of history as it occurred.’

Ajji, sometimes is like, Dalmia. BCCI may leave him. For sure, he won’t leave BCCI.

‘You are right in a way. The tourism Minister just contradicted Jayakumar this morning. He says, everything is fine, and it will start from this Dasara itself.’

‘I just can’t understand. Why are they saying two different things on the same topic in a matter of two days? Is it really ‘Sound and Light’ or ‘Kanna muchchale aadta idaro aeno….’

‘These things are quite normal in Politics, Ajji’.

‘ Adusari.. Are they getting ready for Dasara.. Have the elephants started their march towards Mysore?’

‘They have just started. We don’t know who will inaugurate Dasara this year. They have short-listed a Cricketer, Space scientist, Playwright and an Author. Probably the C.M. himself will select one of them’.

‘Ramu.. Isn’t Dasara, Naada Habba? How will our people – especially the rural folk connect with any one of them – A majority of us can’t even read and write, leave alone knowing what they have done?’

‘But Ajji, a famous personality is supposed to inaugurate..’

Ajji Interrupted me.. ‘What famous personalities when a vast majority doesn’t even know their names? Dasara has to do with devotion for a cause, commitment and dedication for welfare of people, spreading a good message everywhere. Nobody had thought that environment should be protected until an illiterate woman from Rural Karnataka came on the scene and opened our eyes. We should be proud she is one of us.. She is ‘Saalumarada Thimmakka’. We need more Thimmakkas to preserve our environment,

heritage. By honouring her, we will encourage more Ramakkas in future. She did Vana Mahothsava everyday for more than 20 years without expecting an applause, a medal or a man of the match award! We have to honour her by asking her to inaugurate Dasara which in a way is, thanksgiving.. Then only ‘Shakambari’ alankara during Dasara makes sense. Otherwise it will be mere ‘ Ona Mahothsava!’

…………………

17 August 2006

E.R. Ramachandran

..

'Spellling Mayd Eejy''

2006-07-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Take It Easy!

‘Spellling Mayd Eejy’

- Courtesy CBSE

In a historic move to make exams headache - free for students and easier for answer paper evaluators, the CBSE is planning to ignore wrong and incorrect spelling by students henceforth. Gradually, one can expect grammar will be added to this list. In course of time, we can imagine following scenario in the entire academic spectrum.

§ Leter form Stoodent to his Klass Teascher:

Dear Saar ,

Lunch peeriod lost weak, a peeg bite me and take mine Alpenleebe from my mouth. Blood oose my baayi .I dvelop hed eak in my stomak, I not attend skool. My ckkippaji also asked me to do chutti as he tooke mee to Mysore Ecsibsion. We see mpty stalls and eat Bhajjis and drink sugarcane rasa.

Esterday Arthmetik teacher ask me 15 tables. 15 into 10. I tell, I will ask C.M. for answre, teachser beat me.

If my doddappaji not take me chinnari mela nex tweak, I vill attend to your next klasses.

Yours obdent klassboy

Anuma –VI A

§§ Leter from the Hedmaster to Skool InspeKtor.

To

The Bord Inspktor,
CBSE

Dear Saars ,

Most obedeent Respectsu.

Evrything not kushala here. Only Sankata. No Dasoha here as no riceu. We give only Dosa and no chutney.

All Mysore skools children danjer of geting pigs and moskitos fever - Encflltis because of VI A Hanuma. My Teechers are skared of getting enciflits and ‘chickengunna’ from haiklu and thret to strike. Thanks to Mysore Korportion, Mysore peegs eat more and more in roads, parks and skools! Teechers are terrriffied of muskitos ,peegs and Hanuma and want him suspensionu from skoolu.

Hanuma gives same answer for all 15 Tabels as 150! Matter urjentu. Beyand control me. If you not come, me go on leeve. Pleese advice.

Yours turly ,

Skool Headmastru

§§§ Letter from Skool Inspector to MCC

To,

The Kommissionre ,
Mysore Korperasion

Dear Kommissionre Avare,

Your pigs byte our skool Hanuma and fear spread to all my Hed Masters and teachres catching Encephalittis and chicken Guniya. Shamefull matteru! In U.P. , lost year , lots of skool children die due to moskitos and pigs and madum Sonya Gandhi and future P.M., Rahul Gandhi very very angry. I will complayen to them.

Our Hanuma turning mad after pigbyte. Gives poltical answer for 15 Tabels. 15 into 10 answre says ‘ baayella ' Bella Ree !’. All pigs roam our skools because no strings attached. Tie them in korporation to your chairs so no pigs come to skool and byte other Hanumas. If no place in Korporasion, build another MCC and keep your peegs there! Enuff of peeg menase and nonsense to stoodents, teaschers and jeneral publics!

Yours sinserely,

Fed up Broad Inspektor and still feeding

…………………

E.R. Ramchandran 27 July 2006

Pigs' Day Out!

2006-07-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

Take it Easy!

(Conversation between two pigs before the start of their day in Mysore)

“Hi! How have you been? Long time no see. Are you still doing the old route?”

“I am fine, thank you. Our route is still the same - ‘The Shit Route’. We start from Bogadi; Then thro’ University, we come to Jayalakshmipuram, Vontikoppal, Railway hospital, Jaladarshini Guest House, DC’s Residence and Office, The Palace, Siddartha Layout and end near the foot hills of Chamundi. Now we are around 20 in our group. How about you?”

“More or less same. We start from Exhibition Grounds; After doing N.R Mohalla and Lakshmipuram , then thro’ Mayor’s and Commissioner’s office, K.R Circle, Chamaraja Double road, JLB road, Railway station we end at Bannimantap.. We do almost same distance.”

“How’re the facilities in your route?”

“Couldn’t be better. Every second junction, MCC has erected a nice big stone sty, which is quite clean. Around that on the roads, are the…. Eats. The grub is great with all types of garbage; Newspapers, Rotten vegetables, eggs, leftovers… a mix bag of fresh, vintage and heritage stuff. It’s like this all along the route…. By the way, you had some stomach problems, didn’t you? How are you now?”

“Ha! That was quite something! In one of our scavenging rounds, I ate some plastic bags. It was hell. Luckily, I was close to a hospital… Along with the hospital wastes, they had thrown some medicines, which had crossed expiry dates! When I ate that, my stomach ache vanished. Now I can digest Plastics sheet from 1 Micron to 3 mm! No problems. There is another group, which has mastered chewing off videocassettes, floppies and CDs with virus! We are ready for the ‘software rush’ to Mysore.”

“We were scared when they started Nirmala Mysore Programme…”

“You are referring to the defunct Mysore cleanup Programme? Well, we were just 500 ft. away from the dais when they inaugurated the function. We had a good party that day. Our piglets got to taste plastic cups and plates after the function was over!”

“What about the future?”

“I think we must group together and fight for our rights. During Dasara, they bring elephants, horses and camels from outside for the Jamboo Savari. They don’t encourage local talent! We know Mysore roads in and out and can help out ,if they want to change the route! We will appeal to the Districts –in –charge Minister to include us who, I understand, is planning to make it a Grand Dasara this year.”

“Very true. I heard the Tourism Minister is planning to have a Ropeway to Chamundi Hills. There used to be a temple there…. Now that a township and Kalyanamantapa has come up, I am sure lot of leftovers will be available for us. I hope MCC will provide some ‘stalls’ for us at Chamundi Hills too. If we can go in the cable car, it will be a good picnic.”

“ Even if MCC does not provide a car exclusively for us, we shouldn’t grunt too much! We can always share the car and go with the general public as we are presently doing - by sharing the roads with them.”

“ That’s true… Some day, I would like to go to the Hills by the ropeway! It would be like flying.”

“You know… More than a quarter Century back when P.G. Wodehouse named one of his books ‘Pigs have wings’, he must have had us in mind. We have indeed waited long enough.”

…………………

E.R. Ramachandran 15, July 2006

Rajyostava

2006-07-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

Take it Easy!

Rajyothsava Night - 2006

The Chief Secretary called the meeting of Secretaries to order.

Keeping in mind the stringent criticism of Dharam Singh Government last year on Rajyostsava awards as catering to only the glitterati, HDK had asked the Chief Secretary to broad base the Rajyothsava Award 2006 to include as many to coincide with the 51st year of formation of Karnataka. The instruction from the Chief Secretary to his colleagues was loud and clear. “Be innovative. Let’s hit ‘51’ everywhere. Go get ‘em”!

The Transport Secretary got up to start.

‘ My Minister told me to include all vehicle owners whose Registration Numbers end with ‘51’ for Rajyothsava 2006 Awards. Here’s the list of Scooter, Moped, Motorcycle, Tempo, Taxi, Maxicab, Auto rickshaw, Tonga, Wheel cart, Car and Lorry owners who fall in the category. The number comes to over 5000 from our side. Of course we will update this list as we go along till the Awards Night.’

‘Good. What have you got for us?’ The CS asked the Education Secretary.

‘ Azim Premji is personally helping us. All students from creche to degree class whose ID No. end with ‘51’ have been rounded up. I have also included students whose bus passes end with ‘51’ into the list. It’s quite possible it should come under the Transport Ministry. If I take it into my list, I’ve 15000 Awardees lined up for the big night.’

‘ Let’s not quibble over such trivia. We need numbers real fast. Understand!’

‘ I have included Ration card holders, Bank and Post Office Account holders, Senior citizens Accounts, Retired Defense personnel etc. All People with Accounts ending with ‘51’ will be there on November 1st to receive the Awards. I am able to mop up another 15000 so far’. That was the Finance Secretary.

‘Fine. We need to get the Common man into this .I will take the help of Sudha Murthy! I will visit hospitals and prisons around the State myself and get another 20,000 who will reach ‘51’ years by November 2006.I will attend C.M.s’ Janata Darshan from now on and try and get another 15000. How much does it all add up to?’ the Chief Secretary asked.

‘Sir, the Awardees will be over 51000+. Where can we find a place for all of them?’

‘ I will talk to Brijesh Patel and get Chinnaswamy Cricket stadium for a night. We can squeeze all the Awardees in the Stands. Since the public who come to watch such functions will be just a handful, we can put them with the dignitaries on the pitch along with the Governor, C.M. and the Cabinet Ministers.’

One of the Secretaries asked, ‘Sir, There will be a question. What is the contribution of the Awardees to Karnataka?’

Just tell ‘They and their families have endured last 51 years of rule’.

‘ Sir, one last question. Where should we sit?’ asked one of the Secretaries.

‘ Don’t be silly! There won’t be enough space. We will have to watch it on T.V. in the pavilion. I will get ‘Chandana’ to cover it live!’

………………..
E.R. Ramachandran 11 July 2006

Rajyostava Awards -2006

2006-07-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

Take it easy!

Rajyothsava Night - 2006

The Chief Secretary called the meeting of Secretaries to order.

Keeping in mind the stringent criticism of Dharam Singh Government last year on Rajyostsava awards as catering to only the glitterati, HDK had asked the Chief Secretary to broad base the Rajyothsava Award 2006 to include as many to coincide with the 51st year of formation of Karnataka. The instruction from the Chief Secretary to his colleagues was loud and clear. “Be innovative. Let’s hit ‘51’ everywhere. Go get ‘em”!

The Transport Secretary got up to start.

‘ My Minister told me to include all vehicle owners whose Registration Numbers end with ‘51’ for Rajyothsava 2006 Awards. Here’s the list of Scooter, Moped, Motorcycle, Tempo, Taxi, Maxicab, Auto rickshaw, Tonga, Wheel cart, Car and Lorry owners who fall in the category. The number comes to over 5000 from our side. Of course we will update this list as we go along till the Awards Night.’

‘Good. What have you got for us?’ The CS asked the Education Secretary.

‘ Azim Premji is personally helping us. All students from creche to degree class whose ID No. end with ‘51’ have been rounded up. I have also included students whose bus passes end with ‘51’ into the list. It’s quite possible it should come under the Transport Ministry. If I take it into my list, I’ve 15000 Awardees lined up for the big night.’

‘ Let’s not quibble over such trivia. We need numbers real fast. Understand!’

‘ I have included Ration card holders, Bank and Post Office Account holders, Senior citizens Accounts, Retired Defense personnel etc. All People with Accounts ending with ‘51’ will be there on November 1st to receive the Awards. I am able to mop up another 15000 so far’. That was the Finance Secretary.

‘Fine. We need to get the Common man into this .I will take the help of Sudha Murthy! I will visit hospitals and prisons around the State myself and get another 20,000 who will reach ‘51’ years by November 2006.I will attend C.M.s’ Janata Darshan from now on and try and get another 15000. How much does it all add up to?’ the Chief Secretary asked.

‘Sir, the Awardees will be over 51000+. Where can we find a place for all of them?’

‘ I will talk to Brijesh Patel and get Chinnaswamy Cricket stadium for a night. We can squeeze all the Awardees in the Stands. Since the public who come to watch such functions will be just a handful, we can put them with the dignitaries on the pitch along with the Governor, C.M. and the Cabinet Ministers.’

One of the Secretaries asked, ‘Sir, There will be a question. What is the contribution of the Awardees to Karnataka?’

Just tell ‘They and their families have endured last 51 years of rule’.

‘ Sir, one last question. Where should we sit?’ asked one of the Secretaries.

‘ Don’t be silly! There won’t be enough space. We will have to watch it on T.V. in the pavilion. I will get ‘Chandana’ to cover it live!’

………………..
E.R. Ramachandran 11 July 2006

Their Dreams ,our Nightmares

2006-06-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

Their Dreams, our Nightmares

China has made a Dream Plan for its people for the next 50 years, which is mind-boggling. The Chinese Academy of Sciences, in its blueprint has estimated that in 2050, they plan to achieve a per capita income of $ 1300 and a lifespan of 80 years for its people. It also plans to move almost half of its rural dwellers to cities and provide them with jobs and high tech suburban homes. Their capacity to dream big dreams are only matched by actions on the ground as is seen by the miraculous transformation of Shanghai City.

I was thinking about the massive plan of Chinese Academy of Sciences, when I ran in to the Spokesperson of our Planning Commission near the Yojana Bhavan. Here was a chance for me to get updated about India’s dreams! I invited him to the UNI canteen and as we sat for Upma-Kesri bath, I asked about our Plans.

‘What you say about China may be true. Here, we have to be realistic! Our Leftist Union will ‘Gherao’ the Foreman of Honda factory and will not let him to go to the toilet for 72 hours, if there is less sugar in the morning tea the workers have after they punch in. Even if we line our Airports with marble and chrome and polish it to an international showcase, our Airport Jamadarnis will not remove the garbage and clean the stinking toilets till their Union under Karats agree on the Diwali bonus.’

‘What about power generation?’

‘It is problem, but, we are at it. We have already approved a candle factory in Dabhol. This will make 1 million candles a day and by third year we even plan to export. In addition, we will also scale up one of our Navaratnas to make Diyaas. We will scout for a good technical collaborator for these projects once the UPA Government gets ‘NOC’ from its Left Partner.”

‘What about Plans for rural India?’

‘If the weather gods, smile at us, we hope to grow enough paddy and wheat so that the rate of suicide among farmers comes down to reasonable limits this year.’

‘I thought we had already decided to go in for interlinking of rivers, desalination even if the rains fail.’

‘Interlinking river waters has huge potential, but every time we raise this topic between Chief Ministers, the meeting ends with the C.M.s coming to blows! No state will allow its river to be touched by a foreigner -er, its neighbour! The garland of rivers is quite a thorny issue. Desalination will take another 100 years before the Prototype developed by our National Labs can be put to any real use.’

‘What about Infrastructure? Shanghai already has over half a dozen Ring Roads and most of the cities in China would have 4- lane roads encircling them’.

‘ We too will focus on Ring Roads once we get rid of the potholes which has somehow mushroomed in highways all over the country. Our scientists are working on solution for getting rid of potholes by harnessing Rocket science, Nano Technology and stem cells. It will be a matter of time before our scientists train our PWDs, contractors and masons to eliminate potholes forever. But here again the real problem is, the Left might rap us accusing us being Pro-US!’

‘All these look like Nightmares to me. Where’s the big dream which our President exhorts us to dream every now and then’.

‘That will come. First we have to get rid of the Nightmares of interference from the Left every second day..’

‘How come China, a Communist Nation is progressing so well, when our Communists, have become a spanner on every project’?

‘Our brand of Communism is more suited for Nightmares rather than Dreams. That’s the difference!’

…………………

E.R.Ramachandran
30 June '06

Ajji's Penalty Kick!

2006-05-31T01:06:00.000-07:00

TAKE IT EASY!

Ajji’s Penalty Kick!

My Ajji was after me.

‘Ramu, Take me on a Thirtha Yathra. Everybody is going on one these days’.

I was taken aback .I recovered quickly and told her – ‘ These days, people are mostly sitting at home and watching TV. Moreover, it’s quite hot to be out in the sun.’

‘ I have myself watched both Advaniji and Rajnath Singhji on their yathra on the TV!’

‘Ajji! It’s quite expensive to go on their kind of yathras. Moreover, it would be quite tiring at your age’.

‘I don’t understand. Advaniji’s car is air-conditioned. He breaks his yathra at will. If he gets tired in between, he goes by his helicopter, plane or A/C Ist class!’

Oh! Ajji knows everything. It was a mistake to put UPS for the house. She puts in more hours than Rajdeep Sardesai and Srinivasan Jain put together and does her own 24 X 7!

‘Ajji! In politics their presence is urgently required sometimes. – Like, Reservation Policy, Dousing intra party firefighting, Campaigning etc. They have to cut short their yathra in such times and resume again’.

‘Ramu, how is it they break their Yathra in between at will and join the same later. Will any God like it? Apashakuna Agalveno?’

‘Ajji, this is politics; sab chaltha hai. Moreover their yathra is not to achieve some spiritual nirvana or moksha. It’s for specific political agenda and sometimes is undertaken to settle some intraparty rivalry. God can always wait and will wait, till they rejoin’.

‘I don’t understand whatever you are saying. Now, if you can’t take me to a yathra, at least request one of them to take me along. Even if they take a break, it won’t matter. I will be there throughout. Aavaga Apashakun Agalla!’

Oh! Ajji won’t give up, would she? I wish Mohammed Kaif were as persistent as her! Looks like no way of getting out of this. I’ve to try harder…

‘ Though they are from the same party, they are enemies as far as this yathra is concerned. Ninge Hyage Helli? …. They are more like…. Rama - Ravana, Arjuna - Karna, Vali - Sugreeva. If I ask one, the other will get angry…’

‘Saaku Nilso! You won’t take me nor arrange to go with either Advaniji or Raj nath Singhji. You are just giving excuses. Ishtu Maadu,Sadhya! Buy me a plane ticket and send me to your sister’s place in Germany. There, at least, I can watch Ronaldo, Ronaldhino, Beckham and the World Cup matches, from next month peacefully!’

…………………

E.R. Ramachandran 31, May 2006
Email: erram@rediffmail.com

Pray Chamundi and then aim Acid at a girl's face

2006-04-10T09:52:00.000-07:00

Pray at Chamundi Hills and then aim acid at a girl's face!

We live in age of ironies!

All over India , and come Dasara, there's celebration involving mainly godesses. Durga pooja in West Bengal,Garbha Dances in Navarathri and at our own Chamundi temple on the top of the hills.During this time Saraswati pooja is also observed seeking the goddess's blessings. This is one time in the whole of India, when both women AND MEN go to temples, seek the blessings of Godesses for education, health and proserity.We at Mysore observe these poojas in a grand scale.

Yet... yet there's violence unlimited is unleashed on women in innumerable ways- from treatment as second grade citizens, abuses, both physical, mental, sexual and finally on the girl child, who should not be fed ,clothed and who should not be born at all, if our friendly sonologist at the corner shop can help out!

There is a distinct dichotmy here... No where they worship feminine gods as we do here... no where are they treated so shabbily...

Could any sociologist, psychologist or ANYBODY explain this irony and what could be done to correct this aberration?

E.R. Ramachandran

Water Quality,Typhoid Vs. MCC

2006-02-09T22:35:00.000-08:00

February 10, '06

At the risk of being termed repetitive, I have come back to the topic of water qualty supplied to Mysoreans by MCC which I had raised in December 2005.Evasive answers, slipshod responses from MCC has resulted in a situation wherein we have children down with Typhoid today.How long will the authorities continue to hoodwink the people whom they are supposed to serve? Most of the time, MCC gets in to a combative mood whenever anybody tries to question the methods adopted by it to test the water quality.

If the MCC is really serious and has concern about the health of children and have nothing to hide, let them call an independent body, say,experts from Indian Institute of Science( IISc, Bangalore) and ask them to evaluate the samples. If they do this and publish the results, they will do a service to themselves by correcting the process if they are wrong and, above all bring the mater above suspicion, mutual recrimination. Surely Mysore's population, Children especially, deserve better than what's going on!!

If MCC doesn't heed to the above suggestion, does the citizenry have the right to take the matter to C.M. or the Governor to have the uncaring and callous officials removed? Can anybody throw light on this please?Is this possible in our setup? ( I know matter is pending with C.M's office on the earlier petition on the transfer of officials.)

Quality of water supplied: People of Mysore Vs. MCC

2006-02-09T06:19:00.000-08:00

February 9th, 2006

At the risk of sounding repetitive,I will come to the same topic regarding quality of drinking water supplied to us by MCC.

A month back, I had suggested there should be a mechanism to check the veracity of claims made by MCC regarding the quality of water supplied .Most of times, it ends up as a fight between MCC Vs. Voluntary body like ACIM. As we have found , it is too serious a matter to be left to the whimsical attitude of the officails. I had suggested an independent well respected institution like ,say, IISC, should test the sample of water supplied and make the results public. We should be able to take the matter to C.M. who seems to be pro-active and get this rEsolved once and for all. With typhoid raging already and god knows what else is in store for Mysoreans ,it's time the shadow boxing is stopped and one gets to nitty-gritty of things.

Finally, one question for which I would be grateful, if somebody can enlighten me..... If the Commissioner / MCC stonewall all alleggations, give slipshod answers, don't generally care, is there no 'HOPE' for its citizenry? Can't higherups intervene? What's the solution?

Do we have to have some corpses of school children in front of us before some action from higherups can be expected to throw out inefficient , and more importantly callous officials?

Respect to Artistes at the end of a concert/ play

2005-11-27T07:38:00.000-08:00

Mysore is the cultural capital of the State and we are lucky so many performers of repute come to perform in the city. Thanks to Cultural organisations, Dasara festival, Rangayana etc.. we get to hear carnatic & Hindusthani music , and also see classical dance as well as well directed plays all through the year.It is also a tribute to the various organisations who encourage and nurture local talent. That's the way it should be. Then, what's my gripe and what am I cribbing about.....?

It's just this. As soon as the performer starts singing , say, for example, the last song' Pavamana' at a carnatic concert, the audience, you and me included, rush out to start our scooters, vehicles or whatever. The audience which has enjoyed the programme and interacted well with the performers thus far, suddenly runs away even without so much as a' Thank you'.True, the organisers would have felicitated the artistes and we would have all clapped as a token of our appreciation. But still something is missing... in our appreciation of the artistes who made us forget our problems even if only for a while , and uplifted our hearts.We need to show our appreciation better , say,by staying in our seats and cheering the artistes by simple act of clapping.

It's a similar situation at the end of a fantastic play. I have seen and have been guilty of running off before the artistes who made the play possible - the actors, music and lighting chaps, director etc are introduced to the public. Rushing out and starting our scooters becomes the prime activity at that moment.

It's a phenomenon peculiar to us in India. In western countries the clapping goes on sometimes more than 5 minutues.Artsistes, performers thrive on public adualtion and support more so when it happens immediately after a gruelling performance when they have put their talent,heart and soul for our sake....

Mysore is known for many wonderful qualities. We have some very good critcis too. Should we start to' correct' this aspect in our cultural scenario. Our scooters, getting seat in a bus ,rushing for dinner could wait a wee bit longer....

Pot holes as Roads and wasted efforts of traffic police

2005-11-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

Mysore traffic Police under the guidance of Mr. Praveen Sood is doing very good work in traffic monitoring and control for the last 6 months. Signals at important junctions,speed sign boards,reflectors, creating awareness among the public are some of the steps that have been taken for the improvement of traffic control.

However ,all the above steps will work only if the roads are in a condition suitable for riding a scooter/ motorcycle/ moped or a car. As an example, one has to see the road which our DC uses everyday from his residence to the office and back.It is the worst stretch in Mysore with some of the potholes resembling moon's craters.Two wheeler riders find this stretch a death-trap and some have actually succumbed to accidents in this stretch....Yet nothing seems to be happening...It is laughable if the rains are blamed for this as no water gets collected in this stretch due to the slope. It is shoddy work at its best, supervised by greedy officials and condoned by top bosses. Does the MCC care? Can't they be taken to task for its callousness when there is death dancing in streets of Mysore?

What's the use of having fantastic sign boards,creation of awareness, yellow and white lines drawn from a hightech machine when the MCC doesn't bother to keep the roads even to a level of a mud track seen in any village. If this is the state of the road used by the DC, one can imagine other roads in the city...It is only 6 months back our previous Mayor visited Australia to see their roads and infrastructure......

If our DC does not bother about the horrible condition of roads which he uses day in and day out, why is traffic police wasting its money and effort?Finally, the repair that is being done now is an apology for the maintanance of a road..

Cricket Stadium In Mysore

2005-11-07T05:34:00.000-08:00

A New Cricket Season has started with quite a big bang coinciding with Deepawali. After all the drama of Chappel- Ganguly and Dalmia- Pawar -Courts tussles, It's nice to see Mr. Wall, Rahul Dravid leading the team with panache, dedication and commitment only he can bring to the job of Indian Captaincy.

The objective of this topic is - When there are cricket stadia in nook and corner of our country, why, why Mysore doesn't have one and doesn't come anywhere in the radar screen of test or even oneday venues. Maharashtra has Mumbai, Nagpur, Pune, Aurangabad. Even Goa has in Panaji and Margaon..Kerala, a predominantly Football Crazy state has venues in Trivandurm, Cochin and Trissore... They play one day Internationals even in Gauwahati, Silguri.... timbaktoo..

Karnataka is happy with one which is in Bangalore. It looks like KSCA does not even want in other places or is not interested as long as Cricket Academy etc all comes to Bangalore!I don't think they are interested in scouting for talent in other districts of Karnataka. When Andhra Pradesh can field two Ranji Trophy teams - Hyderabad and Andhra- Maharashtra Cricket Association sends two teams Mumbai and Maharashtra and even Gujarat Cricket Association fields two teams in the name of Saurashtra and Gujarat!

Mysore was represented by Sunnyside and Mysore Gymkhan even in Sixties in Nassur and Mirza Ismail leagues. A.S . Krishna Swamy , a dynamic batsman from Mysore almost played for India. Javagal Srinath was the fastest Bowler India has ever produced. Yet , Mysore gets neglected by the mandarins of KSCA who only think of promoting cricket in the 22 yards in Chinnaswamy! Even Chinnaswamy, who did so much for promting cricket in Karntaka would not have approved of the way thinga are conducted in KSCA! No wonder, standards are reching new low.

The Umpires from Mysore who had a meeting recently in Mysore should work for the cause of a stadium in Mysore. Even if not a stadium -Feroze Shah Kotla in Delhi never had a stadium in Delhi till recently, but matches, test matches were held there all these years.

It's time to stake a claim to get Mysore one day matches for a start. For this, citizens, Umpires, Cricket clubs, Associations and Javagal Srinath should come together to get matches for Mysore. Side by side efforts for stadium should also be started.

I would like to receive comments, even if they are brickbats . For heaven's sake, let's get moving. If we can organise a 10-day Dasara festival year after year, that too with private companies' participation, one day match shouldn't be much of a sweat. Will Javagal take the lead.Please!

Water Quality in Mysore

2005-10-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

There is a serious debate going on ,in Mysore with regard to the qualty of drinking water, While this is good, one feels the debate is going on for quite sometime, which is needless. The standards for drinking water as prescribed by ISI or other National or international organisations of repute are very clear. They have even specified the nature of tests, Parameters to be measured ,the process to be followed, the quantity of samples to be taken etc. Any person, organisation following these procedures can ascertain based on the test whether the quality of water is fit for drinking or not.

In Mysore, we find MGP and MCC claiming different results for the tests conducted by them and accordingly variation in water quality . Would it not be better for both MGP, MCC and other NGO's to pool their knowledge, resources .sit down together , share the valuable information and do tests together. This will solve so many problems, especially the misgivings and apprehension of over 10 lakhs of people of Mysore with regard to the quality of water they are drinking. Also ,it will build mutual trust between both the parties who have the welfare of the public whose welfare they uphold.

The media- the press or the T.V should once again the initiative and bring the parties together. The Institution of Engineers- a professional body could easily do this. This will greatly help the cause of Mysore. Let's build together. Let's not break and fall apart .

Publicity of Mysore Dasara

2005-10-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

Mysore Dasara was kicked off byWriter Baragur Ramachandrappa under publicity, of the wrong kind...However, why didn't the organisers go in for the right kind of publicity for which there is a crying need.

Bengalis celeberate Durga Puja in a big way.Already the e-tv Channel has a Durga logo on the left side of the channel which will stay for the next 10 days. NDTV etc will cover exclusively in their News.( Of course it belongs to Prannoy, Roy- a Bong and a famous Bong at that.)

The Gujarathis are not far behind. The Gujarat Govt. appealed to the Supreme Cort and have got the time for 'Gharba' dance extended upto Midnight. It is also shown in the various channels every night.

What about the 'World Famous Dasara' as is bandied about? It is not heard even outside Mysore!Why can't the DC, District in charge Minister do the following:

1. Invite NDTV correspondents Maya Sharma and Nupur Basu to visit Dasara and have them file reports EVERYDAY? Dasara is 10 days, Navarathri is 9 hights and it is NOT just Jambu Savari! Similarly call Z ,India today Networks. CNN did a one week coverage on India and Pakisthan just last week. Couldn't we have used the opportunity. Why not something in BBC? Please think Big..

2. Kerala and Tamil Nadu Govts. advertise tourism in their States in CNN ,Discovery Channels. Karnataka with so much to offer is no where in the picture. The Tourism Minister got miffed because his name was in the roster! This can happen in only Karnataka!

3. Chandana, Mysore channels should have' illuminated Mysore Palace' as their Dasara logo for a month on the left side of the screen throughout. Even now it's not too late!

It's sad.. There is so much efforts in getting money released.. So many are working hard to make it a sucess Let the outside world know about it. Let's sell the great name of Mysore all over the world. To do that Dasara is the best bet.

I request Mysysore to organise a contest for a catchy phrase in Kannada, Hindi and English . The winning phrase with suitable logo should be used to give wide publicity all over... Then only it can truly becomr 'world famous'......